#((i just don't know what to use other than anger))
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Mafia lando smut where reader was mad at him from an argument the other day, so she spends heaps of money on his bank account. He doesnât find out till the bank calls to make sure it wasnât fraud. And he punishes her
Stress Shopping
Summary: After a heated argument, you storm off on a stress-shopping spree with Lando's card, prompting a call from his bank, but the fight ends in heartfelt apologies and a reminder of his love for you.
Genre: Mafia!Lando, angst, fluff
TW: arguing, spending way too much money
A/N: loved the idea but I changed it a little! Hope you donât mind! English is not my first language. I hope you enjoy it though! Requests are open and welcome!
Masterlist
The sound of the door slamming reverberates through the mansion, shaking the antique fixtures on the walls. You stomp into the grand foyer, your heels clicking sharply against the marble floors, your anger palpable in the air. Lando's sharp voice follows you, his British accent more clipped than usual.
"Don't you dare walk away from me, love!" he barks, his footsteps quick behind yours.
You spin on your heel to face him, eyes blazing with fury. "What do you want me to do, Lando? Stand there and listen while you talk to me like Iâm one of your employees? Like Iâm beneath you?"
His jaw tightens, the muscles working as he clenches his teeth. Heâs wearing that infuriatingly expensive suit you helped him pick out, and right now, youâd love nothing more than to rip it off himânot in the fun way. "I donât treat you like my employees," he growls. "But I am in charge, and you seem to forget that sometimes."
You laugh bitterly, crossing your arms. "Oh, how could I forget? You love reminding me every chance you get."
Lando rakes a hand through his perfectly styled hair, messing it up slightly. Normally, the sight would make your heart soften, but right now, it only fuels your fire. "Youâre being unreasonable," he snaps. "We had an agreementâ"
"No, you had an agreement!" you interrupt, your voice rising. "I never agreed to this ridiculous, controlling nonsense, Lando."
His amber eyes flash dangerously. "Watch it," he warns, his voice low now, like a storm about to break. "Youâre pushing me, and you know I donât like being pushed."
But youâre too far gone to care. "And I donât like being treated like some trophy wife who needs to follow orders. Iâm done with this conversation."
Without waiting for his response, you grab your purse from the console table and march toward the front door. His voice chases after you. "Where are you going?"
"Out," you snap. "Donât wait up."
Before he can stop you, youâre out the door, the evening air cool against your flushed skin.
The mall is your sanctuary. Under the glow of bright lights and the hum of happy chatter, you lose yourself in racks of designer clothing, rows of shoes, and glass cases of sparkling jewelry. Lando's black card burns a comforting weight in your purse, and tonight, you intend to make full use of it.
You start at Chanel, swiping the card for a pair of heels and a matching bag without so much as glancing at the price tag. Next is Cartier, where a sleek watch catches your eye. After that, you make your way to Dior, where a silk gown feels like the perfect antidote to your frustration.
Each purchase soothes the ache in your chest, replacing anger with satisfaction. By the time you leave the mall, your arms are laden with bags, and the backseat of your car is filled to the brim with boxes and tissue paper.
But your phone buzzes just as youâre pulling out of the parking lot. You glance at the screen and see Landoâs name flashing. You donât answer.
Back at the mansion, Lando is pacing his study, his phone pressed to his ear. The man on the other end clears his throat nervously before speaking. "Mr. Norris, this is Daniel from Barclays. Weâve noticed some unusual activity on your account and wanted to confirm if your card has been compromised."
Lando pinches the bridge of his nose, exhaling sharply. "What kind of activity?" he asks, though he already knows the answer.
"A series of high-value transactions," Daniel replies. "Chanel, Cartier, Dior... altogether totaling a little over seventy thousand pounds. Should we freeze the card?"
Lando smirks despite himself, shaking his head. "No, Daniel," he says, his tone resigned. "Itâs just my wife... throwing a tantrum."
Thereâs a brief silence on the other end. "Ah," Daniel says finally, clearly unsure how to respond. "Very well, sir. Shall we flag the transactions as authorized?"
"Yes," Lando says. "And donât call again unless itâs life or death."
You return home hours later, your anger dulled by exhaustion and the satisfying sight of your new purchases. You push open the door to the mansion, your arms laden with bags, only to find Lando waiting for you in the foyer. He leans against the staircase, his arms crossed over his chest, his sharp features unreadable.
"Have fun?" he asks, his voice deceptively calm.
You ignore him, stepping past him with your head held high. But before you can make it far, he grabs your wrist, stopping you in your tracks. His grip is firm but not painful, his thumb brushing against your skin.
"Donât ignore me," he says softly, dangerously.
You whirl around to face him, the fire in your eyes reigniting. "What do you want, Lando? To scold me for spending your money? Go aheadâIâm sure youâve got plenty of lectures lined up."
He doesnât rise to the bait, his gaze steady on yours. "Itâs not about the money," he says. "You know that."
"Then what is it about?" you demand. "Because Iâm tired of fighting with you over every little thing."
His jaw tightens, and for a moment, he says nothing. Then, finally, he speaks. "Itâs about us," he says. "About you running off every time we argue instead of dealing with it. You think throwing my money around is going to make things better?"
"It made me feel better," you snap, yanking your wrist out of his grip.
"Fine," he says, his voice cold now. "If thatâs what you wantâthings, clothes, jewelryâthen take it all. But donât pretend itâs going to fix whatâs wrong between us."
His words hit harder than youâd like to admit. You stare at him, your chest heaving with the effort of holding back tears. "Maybe if you treated me like your wife instead of your possession, we wouldnât have these problems," you say quietly.
Something flickers in his eyesâguilt, maybe. But he doesnât respond, and you donât wait for him to. You turn on your heel and head upstairs, leaving him standing alone in the foyer.
Hours later, youâre sitting in the walk-in closet, surrounded by your purchases. The excitement you felt earlier has faded, leaving behind a hollow ache. You sigh, running your fingers over the soft fabric of the Dior gown, wondering if you went too far.
A knock at the door startles you, and before you can respond, Lando steps inside. He looks tired, his tie loosened and his hair disheveled. In his hands, heâs holding a small box tied with a black ribbon.
"I brought you something," he says, his voice soft.
You raise an eyebrow. "More things? Havenât I spent enough of your money today?"
He ignores your sarcasm, setting the box down on the bench beside you. "Open it," he says.
Curious despite yourself, you untie the ribbon and lift the lid. Inside is a delicate necklace, a simple gold chain with a tiny heart-shaped pendant. Itâs nothing like the flashy pieces you bought earlier, but somehow, it feels more special.
"Itâs not to bribe you," he says quickly, as if reading your mind. "I just... I wanted to remind you that I donât care about the money or the fights. I care about you.â
You look up at him, your heart softening. "You have a funny way of showing it," you say, though your tone lacks its earlier bite.
He kneels in front of you, his hands resting on your knees. "I know," he admits. "Iâm not perfect, and I donât always know how to handle you when youâre upset. But Iâm trying, love. I promise Iâm trying."
For a long moment, you say nothing, letting his words sink in. Then, finally, you reach out and cup his cheek, your thumb brushing against his stubble. "Iâm sorry too," you say. "I shouldnât have stormed off like that. It wasnât fair to either of us."
He leans into your touch, closing his eyes briefly. "So... weâre okay?" he asks, his voice tentative.
You smile softly. "Weâre okay."
The next morning, you wake up to find Lando already dressed, his tie perfectly knotted and his usual confidence back in place. He leans over to kiss your forehead, his lips lingering against your skin.
"Breakfast is ready downstairs," he says. "And I told the bank not to call me again if you go on another shopping spree."
You laugh, pulling the covers over your head. "Good. Because I might need a few more things."
He chuckles, his hand brushing against your hair. "Just try not to spend the GDP of a small country next time, yeah?"
You peek out from under the covers, grinning. "No promises."
And for the first time in days, everything feels right again.
Thank you for reading!
#lando norris#lando x reader#lando imagine#lando x you#fluff#angst#mafia!lando#f1#f1 mafia au#mafia#formula 1#formula one#rich life#money
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For the Team: A Real Man
âIâm not going to stand here and let you belittle the team.â Brett slammed his locker shut and turned to face his coach, âWeâre trying out best.â The locker room fell silent. No one talked back to coach.
Coach Andrews glared at Brett, his bushy eyebrows furrowed in anger. âYou think you know better than me, boy?â he growled, his deep voice echoing off the locker room walls. âI've been coaching football for decades, and you're just some punk kid who thinks he knows it all.â
âWith all due respect, Coach, your behavior towards us is unacceptable.â he replies firmly, trying to keep his voice steady. âWe're here to improve our skills, not be belittled and humiliated.â
The other players watched in silence, unsure how their coach would react to their star quarterbackâs bold challenge. Coach Andrews' face turned an alarming shade of red, and he took a menacing step closer to Brett.
âYou think you're so special, huh?â Coach Andrews sneered, his hot breath washing over Brett's face. âBrett, you don't understand a damn thing.â He chuckled, âThrowing a ball well doesnât make you a leader.â
âI'm just telling it like it is.â Brett snapped back, âWhy would we want to dedicate ourselves to this team if youâre treating us like shit during a regular practice?â
The other men remained quiet. No one knew what to say, but they watched closely. Brett was always their leader. Sticking up for them. And while they mostly agreed with him, they weren't about to face coach's wrath.
âYou wouldn't know true leadership, dedication, or what it means to be a man if it bit you in the ass.â Coach Andrews replied, crossing his large, hairy arms, âLet me show you, boy. Let me show everyone here.â he said, his voice dripping with condescension. With a swift motion, he reached out and grasped Brett's chin, forcing the younger man to meet his gaze.
Brett tried to pull away, but the coach's grip was unyielding. A shiver ran down his spine as he felt the coarse hairs on Coach Andrews' palm brush against his smooth skin, âFirst and foremost, these arms. You think these toned, well-groomed arms make you a man?â
As he spoke, Coach Andrews' hands began to glow with an eerie light. And he dug his hands into Brett's impressive arms. Brett gasped as he felt the coach's fingers making contact with his skin. Brett's eyes widened in shock as he felt the coach's glowing fingers sink into his muscles. A tingling sensation spread through his arms as they began to shift and contort. The definition in his biceps softened, the veins disappearing beneath a layer of new flesh. His forearms thickened, growing hairier as dark brown locks sprouted from his skin.
âWha...what's happening?â Brett managed to choke out, his voice trembling with a mix of fear and disbelief. He tried to move his transforming arms, but they felt heavy, cumbersome. Bulking with both muscle and fat. The skin becoming tanned and weathered with age, âCoach, what the fuck are you doing to me?â
âReal men have substance, not just flash.â Brett gasped as coarse, dark hairs sprouted from his shoulders and traveled down his back.
As the coach's hands moved over Brett's chest, the young athlete felt his pecs begin to expand and contort. The lean, defined muscle mass that had once been there gave way to a softer, more rounded contour, reminiscent of Coach Andrews' own mature physique. Darker, coarser hair erupted across the changing skin, until Brett's chest was covered in a thick mat of brown fuzz, mirroring the coach's own hirsute appearance.
âWhat...â Brett whimpered, horror dawning in his eyes as his previously firm pecs sagged, âI...â He looked at his teammates- his friends. All just stared wide eyed, unsure what to do, âPlease! Stop...â
âKeep quiet and take it like a man.â Coach Andrews commanded gruffly, squeezing Brett's newly enlarged, hairy pecs, âMaybe then you'll understand the importance of discipline and hard work, right boy?â
âIâm no boy! Iâm a fuckinâ man!â Brett's eyes widened at his sudden outburst, while Coach Andrews just grinned, âNo, why did I...?â Brett tried to understand where that outburst came from.
Coach Andrews leaned in close, his breath hot against Brett's ear as he whispered, âBecause deep down, you crave the power and control that comes with being an alpha male. Your body is responding to its primal urges, even if your mind resists.â
As he spoke, Coach Andrews' hands continued their work, sliding down Brett's torso to grasp his hips. Brett felt a strange heat emanating from the coach's palms, seeping into his skin. His mouth opened in a silent scream as his abs started to shift.
Coach Andrews grinned, seeming to relish Brett's distress. âThat's it, boy. Let it happen.â he purred, his hands sliding across Brettâs firm torso, âFeel the power surging through you. It's what separates the men from the boys.â Wiry hairs sprouted from Brettâs abdomen as coachâs hands made their way down. Each strand growing thicker and curlier.
âNo...no, please!â
The young athlete tensed, expecting another painful alteration, but instead felt his stomach muscles relax and soften. The six-pack that had once been so prominent began to fade, replaced by a rounder, flabbier midsection. Still, Brett could appreciate the muscle behind the soft, hairy flesh. Brett's face contorted in anguish as he watched his own body take on a different form.Â
âDonât you want to be a real man?â Coach Andrews goaded, âLike me?â He emphasized.
Brett's gaze dropped to his reflection, his heart pounding in his ears as he took in the sight of himself. Gone were the chiseled features and athletic build he'd once possessed. In their place was a heavier, more imposing figure, with a rounded belly and broad, muscular shoulders. Thick, dark hair now covered every inch of exposed skin, from his chest to his arms to his back.
âI...I look like you.â Brett whispered, his voice shaking with a mix of fear and awe. He couldn't deny the raw power radiating from his new form, the sense of strength and dominance that seemed to pulse through his very being.
Coach Andrews nodded approvingly, his eyes gleaming with satisfaction. âSee? This is what it means to be a real man. Not some hairless pretty boy. Youâre learning what it means to be a real man. To be me.â Coach Andrews replied, admiring his work so far.
With a firm squeeze, Coach's fingers made contact with Brett's pert ass. The skin rippled and shifted, the muscle mass shifting as it grew and filled with fat. The lean, chiseled curves of his rear gave way to a broader, heavier set of cheeks, now covered in a thick, wiry mat of dark hair. The muscles softened, turning to pliant flesh that jiggled slightly with each movement. Brett winced as the process extended to his thighs, the lean, toned flesh giving way to a heavier, more bulked-out build, marred by jiggly fat.
âBut I donât want to be like you!â The transforming quarterback insisted, shifting uncomfortably as a forest of dense hairs sprouted from his new legs, âIt's too much...I can't...âÂ
Yet, even as he spoke, he found himself admiring the new contours of his body in the mirror. The heavy, hair-covered muscles seemed to throb with power, drawing his gaze like a magnet. Coach Andrews noticed the change in Brett's demeanor and smirked knowingly.Â
âYou're starting to come around, aren't you boy? Admitting that maybe I know what I'm talking about after all?â
Brett swallowed hard, his mind reeling as he struggled to reconcile his conflicting desires. Part of him still longed for his old, lean physique, but another part - a darker, more primal part - reveled in the sheer masculinity of his new form.Â
âN-no, I don't...I mean, yes, I guess.â
Coach Andrews simply smirked as he ran his hands through Brettâs hair, âThat's it, boy. Embrace your new reality. You're no longer just a pretty face and a strong arm. You're a force to be reckoned with.â Â
As the coach's glowing fingers massaged the quarterbackâs scalp, his proud locks began to fall away. Brett could only watch as his styled hair fell in front of his face. Each lock making their way to the locker room floor. Finally, coach let go and Brett shivered at the cool sensation of the air on his bald head.
âN-no, I won't...â Brett protested weakly, but his voice lacked conviction, âThis isn't me. I'm not...I can't be...â
But Coach Andrews shook his head and brushed his glowing hand against Brett's cheeks. Immediately, the youthful contours began to blur and shift. His angular jawline softened, rounding into a squarer, more weathered shape. All of which was quickly covered in a beautifully thick, manly beard. His high cheekbones receded slightly, and his nose lost its sharpness, taking on a more bulbous, fleshy appearance. Even his eyes seemed to alter, losing their bright, eager sparkle in favor of a duller, more world-weary gaze.
âAll done.â Coach Andrews grinned, âYouâre perfect. A true man.â
Brett stared at his reflection, his eyes turning to Coach Andrews. And in that moment, he realized- they were the same, down to the last strand of hair on their chest. The realization hit him like a punch to the gut. His own resistance was crumbling, swept away by an unfamiliar surge of masculine pride and dominance.
"Brett!" One of his teammates called out, "Don't...!"
"Shut it, Johnson!" Brett growled, his voice low and gravelly- the same as Coach Andrews'. His former friend took a step back, clearly intimidated by the transformation in their usually affable leader.
Inside, however, Brett was reeling. How could he have spoken to his friend like that? He'd always prided himself on his kind heart and good judgment. Now, well now...
Coach Andrews placed a meaty hand on Brett's shoulder, âNow you're learning, son. Don't let weakness cloud your judgement. A real man stands tall and asserts his authority without apology.â
Brett nodded slowly, his expression hardening into a mask of stoic determination. He could feel the change coursing through him, reshaping his very essence. Â
âI needed a little help coaching you pathetic excuses.â Coach Andrews says turning to his team, âAnd who better to assist me than me? Right, Coach Andrews?â He says, looking over at Brett.
Brett stared blankly at his reflection, his mind struggling to comprehend the enormity of the transformation. The man staring back at him was no longer the person he once was - not even remotely. Every fiber of his being had been rewoven into the image of Coach Andrews, right down to his thoughts and desires.
âI am Coach Andrews.â he muttered, the words feeling foreign yet comforting, âMy team needs discipline. I'll whip them into shape, no matter the cost.â He turned to face his stunned teammates, his eyes blazing with an intensity that sent a chill down their spines, âListen up, boys. From now on, I expect nothing less than perfection on the field. Any slacking off will be met with severe consequences. Do I make myself clear?â
Brett's teammates cowered under his intense glare, nodding quickly in fearful agreement, âYes, Bre... er, Coach Andrewsâ one of them stuttered.
Brett/Coach Andrews sneered at their subservience, his chest puffing out with pride, âGood. Now get out of my sight and report to the practice field immediately. We have a lot of work to do to turn you into the champions I know you can be.â
Both coaches watched as their team scrambled to obey the orders, a twisted sense of satisfaction filling them. Coach Andrews could only grin at the sight of the new coach- his twin- a specimen of true masculinity. And without another word, together, the two Coach Andrews stepped out onto the practice field, ready to unleash their unique brand of discipline upon their team.
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Prolonged ecto contamination can cause regenerative abilities. This is great when something important is stabbed or a limb is lost. But for other things, not so much.
âDaddy,â A five year old cried, âsomethings wrong with mommy!â
Jason ran to his and his wifes room. He stopped by the door, taking in Jazz's tense still frame perched on the edge of their bed. She gazed at a small cylinder object cluched in her hands.
"Jazz?" Jason called.
She slowly lifted her gaze to him and turned the object around, revealing two pink lines.
"Is-is that an old one?" Jason stammered.
Jazz moved her head to side to side.
"Defective?"
"I've done ten of them, all the same."
But, but that couldn't be. Jason mentally floundered. After a failed vasectomy resulting in kid numer six and then a failed tube tying causeing baby number seven, Jazz had a hysterectomy.
Jason opened his mouth to address this but then remembered that their kids were in the room. It wouldn't be good for kids to witness their parents having a meltdown over a positive pregnancy test. Or discuss a possible lawsuit against a certain hospital and surgeon.
Switching gears, Jason called to his kids, "Come on tribe! To the living room for a movie."
"What about Mommy?" the five year old protested.
"Don't worry," Jason scooped up his kid and pecked her forehead. "Your dad got this," he said with way more confidence than he felt.
(OML I LITERALKY FUCKING ROLLED WHEN I SAW THIS ASK ASDFGHHKLLL THIS IS SO FUNNY BC IN MY ORIGINAL IDEAS ABIUT ANGER MANAGEMENT, THEY HAVE 5 KIDS)
Jazz stared at him blankly. Jason stared back. They both stared at each other. Then he admitted, âI donât think I got this.â
Thank goodness their oldest, Elinor, was able to understand and distract all of her siblings. Now it was just Jason, Jazz, and their Ancient ghost dog alone to discuss what to do next.
Jazz continued staring at him, holding Shadow in her arms before she said, âYâknow, we couldâŠ.â
âDonât even start,â he said in exasperation. While he would always give her the choice, he knew that none of them would actually genuinely consider it.
She sighed. âI know. I want it anyways. Itâs mine. Itâs our baby.â
Her possessiveness was so cute. Jason reached over to hug her, squeezing her gently and placing his chin on her head. It was a bit difficult due to her height, but she hunched over to tuck herself into his arms, so it was a little easier.
âWeâll handle it. Together, like always. Itâs not like weâre lacking in money anyways. And we have plenty of rooms and we can get help from our support groups. I can take another break from being Red Hood and youâve never stopped your online therapy sessions, so I think we can do this.â
Jazz sighed, nodding before she suddenly groaned aloud and used a fist to hit Jasonâs chest. Jason blinked. âWhat?â
âYou know what my siblings call me?! They call Miss Weasley! At this rate, weâll have a football team by the time weâre done!â
Jason tried not to laugh but a twitch mustâve alerted Jazz to his amusement because she looked up at him and glared. Shadow growled lightly on her lap. She scolded, âYouâre giving the news to our families again. And I wonât stop Dan from trying to kill you this time.â
âEven if it makes you a single mother to 7 kids?â Jason asked idly.
Jazz paused and then she cursed softly. Jason snorted into her shoulder before Jazz then said, âI think after this, weâre using condoms again.â
Horrified, Jason lifted his head up and stared at her in disbelief and shocked horror. âWhat!â
âJason! We have 7 kids now! Can I please get a break!â
Jason groaned, long and loud. Then he sighed, rubbing Jazzâs sides in faux sadness as he bemoaned, âFine⊠since I love you so much⊠Iâll wear protection next timeâŠâ
Jazz pinched his cheek with a little narrowed eye stare and smile, shaking lightly but she said, âThank you, dearest. Weâll handle this together, alright? It wonât be easy, but weâve done this six times before, we can do this a seventh time. I think I should ask Dan how he does itâŠâ she mumbled more plans to herself, as Jason just held her, closing his eyes.
If his past self was ever told that heâd have a wife and seven kids, he was sure that heâd probably snitch to the cops that someone was hallucinating.
Not that heâd ever trade this for the world, of course.
#dpxdc#dcxdp#dp x dc#dc x dp#danny phantom x dc#dp x dc crossover#ask#jazz fenton#anon ask#jason todd#jazz has a shadow friend#anger management ship#jason x jazz#hardcover ship#phantombat next gen#lmaoooo ty for the ask#dan phantom#dan fenton#dark danny#jazz got so much cream she had 7 buns in the ovenâ *gets shot*
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Somehow I do not get the impression "that monster in a human suit" who was "a monster from the moment you resurrected her, and you went and made her worse" was rejected solely because they saw her devotion as stupidity.
By the time she was Alecto, she was angry. Nona, too, was still ever on the verge of anger, and that has never been in conflict with how deeply she loves. Nona is angry when she and others are hurt, when kindness is repaid with violence. She's angry when she's lied to, because she wants to trust, or when she's treated as stupid or incapable, because she wants to be cared for but also to care for everyone around her.
Alecto loves both despite and because of her anger. Her children. Her children who hurt and betrayed her, her children who are missing. Betrayal hurts so much because she loved them, loved John, and still does. She doesn't have it in her to stop, not for anyone.
So in that, sure, she was rejected for how deeply she loves, in a sense, but not because it was stupid. Because it was sometimes stupid and sometimes terrifying. Alecto is the embodiment of what we see all through the series, that the price of love is grief and that it's never a force of pure good. Love is messy and destructive and love and freedom don't coexist, but you'll chase it anyway, to the end of the universe. Because it has teeth and claws and those can just as easily protect you as hurt you, just as you'll use yours to protect what you love.
And you don't have to understand or even know how much you're loved for it to be real. Gideon doesn't think Harrow loves her or understand why Pyrrha wants to try, but we do. Hot Sauce briefly losing faith in Nona didn't make Nona's love any less real. And Alecto knows John loves her, as warped and sad a version as it is, but even if she thinks that's all...
Even if she believes Anastasia is gone and Pyrrha was no better than the others and this strange little child at her side doesn't know her enough to yet love her, and thus she has nothing left, Alecto is loved, and you can't take loved away. It just might take her some time to see it.
Nona as a character is so fascinating to me when you consider her as a foil to Alectoâs history. Because, when you get down to it, Alecto was Nona all those thousands of years ago.
Consider Alecto, who rose from the shattered remains of the Earth, whose body was new and massive and unwieldy, who only existed because of her creatorâs cosmic overindulgence and still knew love. Love!! Knew it so well that she chose it, even to her detriment, every single time. In response, the world around her âthe Lyctors especiallyâ rejected her for it because they saw her devotion as stupidity. And Jod, who claims to love her, locked her away, entombing her because he saw his love as a weapon to be used against him. And from what we see of Alecto when sheâs awake in the Locked Tomb (especially when she bites Harrow) sheâs grown sharper and crueler because of these rejections.
Similarly, Nona, having been slammed into a body that was not hers, with no memory and no faculties ALSO chooses unyielding love. But where Jod and his disciples rejected such âfoolishness,â Cam, Pal, Pyhrra, and Nonaâs Gang all accept it with open arms. They plan a birthday party for her and make silly jokes and check in on her and always say âI love youâ back. They spend every day nurturing her the best they can.
Even in Nonaâs final moments, these people tell her, âwe love you. We will always love and remember you. Thatâs what matters.â And thatâs what gives Nona the strength to make it to the Body, to do an act so terrible it will erase her. She does it because she is loved.
And now Alecto lives, ancient, undying, and so unloved.
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Make It Right
terry richmond x black, fem!/plus size reader
summary:Â Terry makes it right and apologizes to you for his words and his behavior; soon, you and Terry talk through your issues, getting a better understanding of each other and rebuilding your communication.
warnings: angst, slight communication issues, serious conversation, explicit smut (18+), light daddy kink, oral (f), rough pent-up sex, making out, flirting, fluff, domestic life, romantic dinner, family vacation, nicknames [ baby, sweetheart, mama, baby girl & more ] words: 5k
note: please enjoy, but there may be some errors.
sequel to { funny how time flies } mini-series masterlist previous chapter { everything I ever wanted }
You heard the soft creak of the bedroom door as it opened and then shut, the sound echoing in the quiet bedroom. Suddenly, a familiar warmth enveloped you as Terry wrapped his arms around you, trying to pull you into an embrace.
You could feel the weight of his body pressing against yours, but frustration bubbled up inside you. âGet off of me, Terry!â you exclaimed, your voice sharp and annoyant as you firmly shoved him away.
You shifted towards the head of the bed, separating you from the man you hurt your feelings. Terry stood there, a blend of guilt and despair washing over his features.
âIâm sorry, baby. I-I,â Terry stammered, his words tumbling out in a rush as his eyes roamed your face, searching for a glimmer of understanding.
The remorse in his gaze was sincerity, which struck a deep chord within you. âI shouldnât have said that. Iâm sorry.â He sat on the bed and moved closer, extending a hand as if trying to bridge the emotional depth that had formed between you.
âIâm so grateful to have you; youâre such an incredible wife and an amazing mother to our son.â His voice cracked slightly, laden with the weight of his apology, as he pleaded for you to see the truth in his words.
"No, why would you say you're tired of me? How could you say something like that to me of all people?" you yelled, your voice rising as a flood of emotions engulfed you.
A mix of anger and hurt made your heart race. "Baby, I didn't meanâ" Terry started to respond, his voice still remorseful, but you couldn't let him finish.
You cut him off, allowing your pent-up emotions to spill like water gushing from a broken dam.
"Do you even grasp how I've been feeling these past few months?" your voice trembled, each word charged with frustration and hurt. "It feels like I'm carrying the whole load on my shoulders, all alone."
"If youâve been feeling this, why didn't you communicate that to me? You know I'm not a damn mind reader!â Terry shot back, his tone rising and more urgent.
"So it's my fault again?â you retorted, your frustration boiling. âWhy don't you take some accountability for once, Terry? You used to know how to support me or recognize when I was struggling without me having to spell it out for you."
Your words hung in the air, charged with the weight of unspoken expectations and the longing for understanding that felt increasingly out of reach.
Terry took a deep breath, his shoulders slumping as he faced you directly, the moment's weight heavy between you. âLook, I know I messed up badly,â he began, his voice low and sincere.
âI hurt you, and thatâs not right. I should have never said I was tired of you. That was just disrespectful. You deserve so much better than that.â
Terry paused, searching for the right words, his eyes filled with regret. âI see how hard you work every day taking care of our son. You do everything for our family; I have taken that for granted. I havenât been there like I should have been, allowing my frustrations to cloud my judgment.â
Terry stepped closer, his hands outstretched, palms up. âI got no excuses. What I said was wrong, and Iâm ashamed of it. Youâve been carryinâ so much, Iâm sorry, for real. I wanna make it right, whatever it takes. I'll support you better, listen more, and be the husband I know I can be.â
As he spoke, you could see the love and remorse etched on his faceâdeep lines of worry creased his brow. But it was hard for you to process his words fully at that moment.
You let out a shaky breath, feeling the anger decrease slightly. "I hear you, Terry,â you said softly, almost dismissively. âBut right now, I just need some spaceâŠI think you should sleep on the couch.â
You get off the bed to grab your shower cap, go to the bathroom, and close the door. You hear Terry leave the bedroom, the silence filling the space again.
After your shower, you take your time with your night routine, meticulously applying your skincare products as if the physical act could somehow cleanse the emotional turmoil still swirling inside you.
Each motion rhythm felt almost meditative, yet the weight of the conversation earlier loomed heavily in your mind. You are dressed in a comfortable tank top and pajama shorts, feeling the fabric against your skin, a small comfort amidst the chaos of your thoughts.
Finally, you climbed into bed, the sheets cool against your skin, but the emptiness beside you felt overwhelming. The thought of Terry not being close to you despite the hurt made the room quiet.
You wrapped the thick blanket tightly around you, trying to find solace in the familiar fabric, yet you couldn't shake off the need for his presence.
Deep down, you craved the warmth of his body next to yours, the security you felt when he embraced him, even if your heart still stung from his words.
With a shaky sigh, you swung your legs over the side of the bed and decided to seek him out. You padded down the hallway, glancing at the clockâit was already late, and you wondered how long youâd been lost in thought.
As you reached the bottom of the stairs, the sight of him slumped over on the small loveseat in the living room tugged at your heart. His long frame seemed crammed into the little seat, the edges of the cushions barely accommodating his size.
âTerryâŠâ you called softly, barely rising above a whisper. He lifted his head at the sound of your voice, eyes widening with surprise and a hint of hope.
âYeah,â he replied, rubbing the sleep from his eyes, his voice thick with fatigue. âUm...â you started, crossing your arms over your chest, unsure how to proceed.
The remnants of the hurt and irritation still lingered, yet the sight of his uncomfortable state and weary expression stirred something inside you.
âCome to bed,â you said softly with no expression, and his expression shifted to relief. âAre you sure?â Terry asked, a mixture of cautious optimism laced in his tone.
âYeah, justâŠcome on,â you replied, trying to sound more convinced than you felt. Terry was always so imposing as he stood up but looked helpless and small.
Without another word, he followed you back upstairs, and the silence between you felt thick. As you entered the bedroom, you climbed back into the bed, the sheets still warm where you had been.
Terry lingered by the door momentarily, hesitation clear on his face. âAre you still upset?â he asked, his voice soft yet heavy with concern. âI am,â you replied, not wanting to lie or sugarcoat the situation.
âBut I donât want to sleep alone. Maybe we can talk more tomorrow when weâre both in a better headspace.â You said softly. Terry nodded, understanding and regret evident in his eyes.
With a heavy sigh, he climbed into bed beside you, leaving a respectful and cautious distance between you. The silence hung between you until it was almost suffocating, but neither knew how to break it.
Instead, you both lay there, staring at the ceiling and pretending to be asleep. Eventually, sleep found its way to you both. The night felt long, but eventually, morning came with the promise of a new day.
As the sun peaked through the curtains, you stirred awake first, feeling the warmth of Terry's body against you, and you glanced over at him; your heart softened just a bit as you watched him breathe softly.
After last night's argument, some of you wanted to stay angry and distant from Terry, but another part just wanted things back to normal. You knew in your heart that you two would work this out somehow.
You turn over, gently reach over, and place your hand on his cheek before returning to sleep. Terry stirred slightly and cracked open an eye if you felt your touch even in his sleep.
Terry softly smiled at your sleepy state, knowing he had to make things right. He reached for his phone, the soft glow illuminating the dim room.
Sitting up, he took a deep breath, preparing himself for a tough day aheadânot at work, but at home. He scrolled through his contacts, dialing in to call your uncle.
âHey, Uncle Eddie,â he said after a few rings. âI wonât be coming in todayâŠyeah, personal reasons. I need to be homeâŠOkay, thank you.â As he hung up, he glanced over at you, still half-asleep.
Terry slid out of bed quietly, careful not to wake you. Padding softly to the babyâs room, he gently lifted Elijah from the crib. Cradling him in his arms, he marveled momentarily at how small and innocent his son looked.
âGood morning, little man,â Terry whispered, bouncing Elijah slightly as he went downstairs to the kitchen. He set the little one in the high chair, securing him safely with the straps.
The babyâs sleepy gaze slowly transformed into a wide-eyed curiosity as he watched his daddy move about the kitchen. With Elijah happily sitting in his chair, Terry began preparing breakfast.
Terry rummaged through the fridge, pulling out eggs, milk, and fresh fruit. As he cracked the eggs into the skillet, their sizzling brought a sense of calm.
Cooking had always been a form of therapy for him. âLetâs get you some breakfast, too, huh?â he chimed to Elijah as he quickly poured him a bottle.
Terry could hear Elijah's soft noises of delight, making focusing easier. Deep down, he hoped that doing this would show you his sincerity.
After feeding Elijah, Terry made a generous portion of the breakfast for you and himself and set the table. As you wake up to an empty bed, you glance at the time and feel slightly panicked.
However, you hear Terry's voice through the baby monitor, talking to Elijah in the kitchen about you, hoping this would be the start of you forgiving him for your argument last night.
As you got out of bed, rubbed the sleep from your eyes, went to brush your teeth, and washed your face before strolling downstairs towards the kitchen.
The aroma of breakfast wafting through the air, making your stomach rumble. Terry turned as he caught sight of you, a sheepish smile lighting up his face.
âMorning,â he said warmly, his voice brightening the atmosphere. âI hope youâre hungry. I made your favorite,â he added; you tilted your head, curiosity piqued. âMy favorite?â
âYeah,â he replied, setting a plate on the table before you. âEggs, pancakes, bacon, and fresh fruit. I know you usually love a little bit of everything.â
As you sat, Elijah babbled enthusiastically in his high chair, excited to see both of you. You couldnât help but smile at your son and kiss his forehead. "Good morning, baby boy"
You started to eat, the first few bites eliciting a sense of normalcy you desperately craved. âThanks for making breakfast, Terry,â you said softly, focusing on Elijah. âIt smells amazing.â
âI wanted to do something nice for you,â Terry admitted, taking a deep breath before continuing. âI know.....last night. I hate that we left things unresolved.â
You looked up from your plate, gauging Terryâs expression. His eyes were sincere, mixed with an undercurrent of regret. âYeah, I appreciate that youâre trying this morning.â
Terry nodded slightly, the weight of his guilt apparent in each motion. âI just want you to know again Iâm sorry about what I said. I didnât mean it. I was just frustrated, and I didnât handle it well.â
You paused before responding. âI get that, Terry, but when you said that to me...my heart broke, and I thought we were locked on this, I thought-.â
âI know,â he replied, his tone dropping to a more serious level. âItâs just so hard sometimes, balancing everythingâ Elijah, work, our marriage. I let the stress get the best of me and took it out on you.â
"Well, I think we really need to work on our communication because ever since Elijah was born, I feel like we've lost sight of that strength we've built," you said, your voice filled with realization.
Terry acknowledged the tension in his shoulders, easing just a bit. âYou're right. I've noticed it, too. I miss how we used to talk, how we could share anything without worry.â
You swallowed hard, the weight of those words resonating deeply. âYeah, me too. Remember those late-night talks we used to have? We'd stay up for hours just dreaming about our future, making plans together. Now it feels like we're just trying to survive the day.â
âYeah,â he said, his expression softening. âI want to go back to that. âWe have to find a way to carve out time for us, even if it's just small moments here and there.â
âWhat do you think that looks like?â you asked, genuinely curious. âHow can we make it happen?â you added. Terry took a moment, clearly contemplating.
âMaybe we could set aside a few minutes each night after Elijah goes to bed. We could just talk about our day or even watch something together. Something light and fun.â
âThat sounds nice,â you replied, a smile creeping onto your face. âI would love that. But I also think we need to be able to have those conversations when things get tough. It can't all be about being positive; we must address the heavy stuff, too.â
Terry thoughtfully, his brow furrowed in concentration. âYou're right. I think it's so easy to avoid conflict, thinking it will just resolve itself. But it won't, will it? We have to face it head-on before resentment builds up.â
âI can be guilty of that too,â you admitted, feeling the weight of the past few months crash over you. âI've been just bottling things up instead of expressing my feelings. Itâs easier to keep the peace, even if it eats away at me.â
âI get that,â he said softly, his gaze steady on you. âBut I promise to do better. I want to hear what you say, baby, no matter how difficult. I care about your feelings and will be a better husband; I want to be a better husband.â
Your heart swelled at his words. âThank you, Terry. That means a lot, and you are a good husband and a father. We're in a tough patch, and I'm sure we'll get through. I want you to feel the same way. We need to make this a mutual effort. If I ever say something that bothers you, please don't hesitate to let me know.â
Terry reached across the table, taking his hand in yours. âYou have my word. And I hope you know I'm committed to strengthening our marriage. There's nothing more important to me than you and Elijah; âI love you, baby.â
"I love you too, Terry." With those words lingering in the air, you both shared a transformative moment of understanding. It wasn't an immediate solution to all your problems, but it was a solid step.
-
The past few weeks have been a turning point for both of you. Communicating openly like you used to, sharing your thoughts and feelings without the weight of tension lingering in the air, had lightened the load on your heart.
As you and Terry cuddled on the couch, the warmth of his body against yours felt comforting. The lamp's soft glow lit the room just enough to create an intimate atmosphere.
You watched Elijah through the baby monitor, sleeping peacefully in his crib. âWow, you came through, huh?â you said playfully, playing with his ears.
âI feel like I barely had to lift a finger with the housework and Elijah. You got my back like that?â You said with a smile. Terry chuckled, leaning closer to you.
âWell, if I keep you happy, itâs a win-win situation, right?â He pretended to flex his muscles, and you both laughed at the moment's silliness.
âYouâre so crazy,â you teased, smirking at him. âBut real talk, I appreciate it. I feel like I can finally breathe again. Itâs been a minute since we had this together.â
âRight? I missed this, alot, I mean a lot a lot â Terry expressed, his face turning soft. He brushed his thumb along your cheek, making your heart flutter.
âYou know I love you, sweetheart, I wanna see you shine and be happy,â Terry said, and you smiled, feeling a little bashful under his gaze.
âAww, Terry, I love you too so much. I know I can get caught up in my head often, but having you step up like this? It just makes me feel so much better.â
Terry leaned in closer, his breath warm against your lips. âYou keep saying how I stepped up, but itâs us together making it work. Youâre the heart of this whole household, baby.â
Terry paused momentarily, still gazing into your eyes, and you could feel the heat rising between you. âWeâve been keeping things going in the house lately, being a team.â
âTrue, that's how it's supposed to be. And it feels good to be back in sync,â you responded, feeling at ease. âItâs nice to know youâre all in, and Iâm all in too.â
With that, Terry leaned in, capturing your lips with his in a slow kiss. It was sweet at first, but gradually, it deepened, both of you melting into the moment as your bodies relaxed against each other.
A playful glint sparkled in his eye when he gently pulled away, hinting at a fun idea. âYou know,â he said, his voice brimming with excitement.
"We should plan a little family getaway. Somewhere we can kick back and truly relax.â He said deeply low. âA vacation?â you replied, raising an eyebrow in intrigue.
âReally?â you asked, and Terry leaned closer, the enthusiasm contagious as he continued. âYeah! How about we spend a weekend at that villa we used to visit in Cancun?"
"And we could invite your parents to join us. It would be an excellent opportunity to unplug from all the chaos and have fun.â His eyes lit up with the thought, a sparkle mirroring his excitement.
You couldn't help but bite your lip, imagining the warm sands and gentle ocean breezes. âThat sounds amazing! I adore that place. It holds so many wonderful memories for us."
"âitâs where it all began. Plus, this would be Elijah's very first vacation! What a special way to introduce him to such a beautiful location.â You gasped.
Terry chuckled softly, âSo, you wanna do it?â You nodded enthusiastically, a grin spreading across your face. âLetâs do it! I can already envision the memories we can make.â
Cancun, Mexico
The sun hung high in the cerulean sky, casting a warm golden glow over the peaceful Cancun shoreline as the day unfoldedâa perfect Sunday morning.
The gentle sound of waves lapping against the soft, powdery sand created a soothing rhythm while a refreshing breeze played against your dark-brown skin, carrying the faint scent of salt and beach flowers.
Elijah giggled uncontrollably as he splashed playfully in the sandy oasis around him. Tiny grains of sand stuck to his little fingers and toes, glistening like miniature jewels in the sunlight.
You and your mom were fully immersed in the moment, working together to construct an elaborate sandcastle. Its towers rose proudly, decorated with seashells and bits of seaweed, as you all hoped it could withstand the approaching tide.
âLook at you, Eli! You love the sand, huh?!â you exclaimed, your heart swelling with affection. The moment's joy was captured forever as you snapped a picture of his bright smile, his hazel eyes sparkling with delight.
Elijah's laughter echoed around you, filling the air with pure joy as you and your mom continued to shape the sandcastle. Your dad strolled, still wet from his time on the jet skis, with a broad grin.
âYâall got some serious skills over here!â he called out, surveying the castle. "Thatâs lookinâ like a real palace for my grandbaby!" Your mom chuckled, smoothing out a rough edge of the sandcastle.
âA palace fit for a prince! Ainât he just the cutest?â She looked down at Elijah, who was now trying to pick up a handful of sand and giggling when it slipped through his tiny fingers.
âRight?â you replied, grinning. Your dad squatted beside Elijah, chuckling as the baby reached out toward him, his little hands covered in sand.
âHey, Eli? Are you makinâ masterpieces over here? You tryna start a sand empire?â He asked. Elijah let out a squeal of delight, and your dad couldnât help but laugh.
âAww, look at that smile! Heâs sayinâ âI got this, grandpa!ââ Just then, Terry wandered back from the jet skis, a towel draped around his neck.
âWhat's going on? Yâall makinâ a sandcastle? I wanna see!â Terry said, leaning down, peering curiously at Elijah. âAnd thereâs my number one fan!â
âLook at him, Terry!â you exclaimed, scooping Elijah into your arms as his face lit up at the sight of his daddy. âHeâs ready to take on the beach. Heâs got sand in places I didnât even think was possible!â
Terry laughed, reaching out to tickle Elijahâs belly, causing him to burst out in another fit of giggles. âMan, how did we get so lucky? Heâs a whole treasure out here!â
âRight, such a blessing!â your mom chimed in. You looked at the happy scene around youâyour parents, your husband, and your precious sonâand felt your warm heart swell.
âThis is what itâs all about, yâall. Family!â You said softly, and Terry smiled at you sweetly. âThat's right!â your dad agreed, throwing an arm around your shoulders.
âWe gotta make the most of these days, yâknow? Family, fun, and all this love. Ainât nothinâ better!â With everyone laughing and loving on Elijah, the sun shone brightly overhead, casting a golden glow over your little beach paradise.
Later.
The afternoon unfolded beautifully as your family gathered around the spacious dining table at the villa, sharing a delightful lunch filled with laughter and stories.
The warm sunlight streamed through the large windows, casting a golden glow on the cozy living room where everyone eventually settled in. Plush cushions beckoned from the oversized sofas, and the aroma of delicious food lingered in the air.
Your parents, visibly relaxed and content, cherished their time with Elijah, engaging in lighthearted conversations that filled the room with joy and warmth.
Terry leaned over to you, a playful grin on his face. âHow about a little adventure?â he whispered, eyeing your parents, who were busily playing their grandson.
âWhat do you have in mind, handsome man?â you asked, intrigued. Terry glanced toward your mom and dad. "Well, I would you love to take you out for dinner? Just the two of us?â
Your heart raced with excitement. âReally? What about Elijah?â
âDonât worry,â he replied, giving you a reassuring smile. âIâll ask your parents to watch him, so we can have some time for ourselves.â You couldnât help but feel a warmth spread through you at the thought of a romantic evening.
With every detail, he sparked a thrill in your heart that had been dormant for too long. âOkay, youâve got a deal!â You said with a smile, you rushed upstairs to freshen up.
You pulled out a multicolored sundress adorned with shapes and designs. You applied some light makeup, focusing on a touch of lip gloss that shimmered in the fading sunlight.
Staring at your reflection, you felt nostalgia and excitement, feeling beautiful and ready for the evening ahead. When you returned to where your parents and Elijah were gathered, your dad raised an eyebrow with a teasing smile.
âWow, look at you, miss thang! Someoneâs got a hot date!â He teased, and you laughed. âJust a little dinner with Terry. He has a surprise planned for us.â
"Sounds wonderful! And you two deserve it, sweet pea." Your dad said with a light smile on his face, and your mom clapped her hands together.
âYeah. Weâll take good care of Elijah. You both go enjoy your night!â Your mom said with a smile, and you nodded, giving Elijah a kiss on the forehead before leaving.
You met Terry at the beach's edge, his eyes lighting up as he took in your dress. âYou look stunning, baby,â Terry said, taking your hand as you walked together towards the car.
The drive was filled with easy conversation and laughter. As you neared your destination, you noticed a seaside restaurant nestled under twinkling lights, music wafting from within.
âIs this our spot?â you asked, excitement bubbling. âYup! I figured we could have a nice dinner followed by some dancing,â he said with a wink, holding the door open for you as you stepped out.
Inside, the ambiance was warm and inviting, with flickering candles on the tables and soft music playing in the background. After being seated, you both ordered and sipped on lemonade while discussing anything.
Terry leaned back in his chair, a playful smirk dancing on his lips. âSo, you got any plans for when we take over the dance floor, huh?â he teased, his eyes glinting with mischief.
You chuckled softly, tilting your head. âOh, donât you worry about that, Mr. Smooth! Iâm ready to turn this place out.â You twirled strands of hair around your finger, feeling the chemistry between you.
Terry raised an eyebrow and leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table. âOh really now? Do you think you can keep up with me? I might spin you so fast you'll forget where you are!â
You laughed, biting your lip playfully as you met his gaze. âHoney, I was born ready! Just wait till I hit you with these hips. You ainât seen nothinâ yet.â
âIs that a challenge, baby girl?â Terry asked, feigning shock as he leaned closer. The scent of his cologne wrapped around you like a warm hug.
âBecause if it is⊠well, Iâm here for it.â His voice dipped low, drawing you in. The waiter arrived with your appetizers, but neither of you paid much attention.
Your eyes were locked in a playful duel. âYou know I never back down from a challenge,â you replied boldly, lifting your glass in a mock salute before sipping the lemonade.
He watched every move you made with a smile that made your heart flutter. âAnd thatâs exactly why I love ya,â he said softly, his tone turning more sincere.
It felt like old times, just the two of you in each other's company, the laughter ringing like music. After dinner, the music softened, and the atmosphere turned more romantic.
Terry stood, extending his hand to you. âShall we?â With a smile, you took his hand as he led you to the dance floor, where the soft light danced around you like fireflies on a warm summer night.
As you swayed together, you felt the rhythm of the music seep into your bones. Terry pulled you closer, his hands resting gently on your lower back, confidently guiding you.
The world around you faded, and it was just him and you, lost in this moment. You could feel the warmth radiating from his body, his breath brushing against your ear as he whispered sweet nothings that made your heart swell.
âLook at you, movinâ like you own this floor,â Terry murmured, admiration dripping from his voice. âAinât nobody can do it like you can, sweetheart.â
You felt a rush of heat at his words, a giddy thrill igniting your chest. âTerry,â you replied, biting back a smile as you twirled under his arm, relishing how he effortlessly caught you again.
âYou know how to make a girl feel special.â You said, resting your head against his shoulder, feeling the steady beat of his heart sync with yours.
Terry chuckled lowly, tilting your chin up to meet your eyes. âNah, baby girl, itâs all about you. Every move, every glanceâ I canât help but be mesmerized,â he said earnestly.
âYouâre my whole world.â His gaze held yours captive; it was intimate and raw, each word wrapping around your heart like a warm embrace.
âYou know what you are doing!â You laughed lightly as your cheeks warmed under his adoration. âMaybe...but I'm just speaking the truth,â he whispers, kissing your lips.
The kiss was soft at first, a gentle brush that sent shivers down your spine. Time seemed to slow as you melted into him, the world around you fading.
You could taste the sweetness of the lemonade mingled with the warmth of his breath, an intoxicating blend that left you craving more.
As the music swelled, so did your passion. Terry deepened the kiss, his hands roaming from your waist to your ass, pulling you closer as if he wanted to erase any space between you.
âBaby,â Terry breathed against your lips, a teasing lilt in his voice. âYou gotta know what kinda hold you got on me.â
You laughed softly, feeling emboldened by his affection. âOh really? Is that right?â You leaned in closer, brushing your lips against his cheek, an invitation that promised more.
âYeah...hey, I have something else special,â he replied with a playful smirk. His eyes sparkled as he twirled you again, then pulled you back into him, letting the music guide your movements.
âAfter this amazing dinner, what could you have else planned, Terry?" You asked as your bodies moved harmoniously, hips swaying together like they were made for this dance.
This moment where nothing else mattered. "You'll have to see, come on," he whispered, took your hand, leading you back to the table to settle the bill.
âYou ready for this?â he asked, glancing at you with that glint in his eye that always made your heart skip. âReady as Iâll ever be! Letâs go!â you answered, excitement bubbling over.
You stepped out into the cool night air, hand in hand. You two were in the car again and eventually made where you two were going. âTerry, where we goinâ?â you asked, curiosity bubbling up like champagne, your heart racing as he pulled you along.
âJust trust me, baby,â he said over his shoulder, his smile mischievous and inviting. âI promise itâs somethinâ real special.â
You squeezed his hand, excitement surging through you as he navigated through the small villa. Every step was a tease; every turn held the potential for surprise.
Finally, he stopped in front of an ornate wooden door. He turned to you, letting go of your hand just long enough to pull out a small key from his pocket.
âNow, don't be peekin',â Terry said with a grin as he unlocked it. Your anticipation heightened as the door creaked open, revealing a cozy space bathed in warm golden light.
âOh wowâŠâ you breathed as you stepped inside, your heart leaping at the sight before youâa smaller villa impeccably decorated with rich crimson roses scattered across the bed and soft candlelight illuminating every corner.
âSurprise!â Terry announced proudly, closing the door behind you both. âI figured we needed a little time on this vacation just for us.â You spun around to face him, unable to contain your joy.
âTerry! This is, this is so beautiful and sweet! You really thought of everything!â You said softly, looking at him happily.
âAww, you know I had to treat you right, baby. âAin't nothin' but the best for my queen,â he said, his voice smooth like honey as he stepped closer, closing the space between you two.
You could feel the heat radiating off his body, sending shivers down your spine. âTerry, I love you,â you replied with a grin, your heart fluttering like a butterfly in spring.
Terry's eyes danced with mischief as he leaned down, brushing his lips against your ear. âOh, baby, I love you too," Terry said, reaching for your waist.
Terry pulled you against him as his lips met yours with an urgent hunger. The kiss ignited a fire within you, deepening as he playfully nibbled on your bottom lip.
âTaste so sweet,â Terry murmured against your mouth before pulling away just enough to gaze intently into your eyes. His hands slid down to cup your ass, lifting you up slightly to the bed.
âI've been wanting you all nightâ Terry growled, his breath hot against your skin as he sat you on the bed. The soft sheets beckoned you both as he laid you down gently, his eyes never leaving yours.
âLook at youâ Terry teased, a devilish grin playing on his lips as he traced a finger along your jawline. âGot all dressed up and ready for me; now it's time to rip that shit off.â
With that, he started peeling off your dress, bra, and panties like they were the layers of an onion, revealing every inch of your skin to him." fuck baby,â he said appreciatively, feasting his eyes on your body.
âYou're so damn stunning.â His voice dropped low, sending shivers through you. âI could get lost in you.â He added. âOh, TerryâŠâ you breathed out, feeling the heat between you two intensify.
Terry leaned closer, his hands exploring every curve and dip of your body before trailing down to your thighs. âYou smell good, too,â he murmured as he kissed down your neck, savoring the taste of your skin.
âI bet you taste even better.â You could feel the electricity crackling as he moved lower, his lips brushing against your stomach. âGonna make you scream my name tonight,â he promised with a wicked glint in his eyes.
âBaby, donât tease me like that,â you replied breathlessly, biting your lip in anticipation. His presence was intoxicating, and every moment felt like it was building to something spectacular.
âI ainât teasinâ; Iâm just gettin' started,â Terry responded, his voice dripping with a sultry confidence that sent heat racing through your veins.
Terry grinned, eyes glinting as he knelt between your legs, his breath warm against your skin. âNow open up for me, mama,â he commanded softly, the authority in his tone making your heart race even faster.
âI wanna taste that sweet, wet pussy of yours the way you know I can.â He said sensual and you shivered at the intensity of his gaze, feeling wholly exposed yet utterly safe in his presence.
âTerry,â you gasped, your body arching instinctively toward him. Terry smirked as he spread your thighs wider, the anticipation hanging thick in the air.
With no warning, he dove in hungrily, lips wrapping around your most sensitive spot and sucking gently while his tongue flicked teasingly over you.
The sensation hit you like a tidal wave, sending shocks of pleasure coursing through every nerve ending. "Oh, shit! Terry," you moaned, gripping the sheets as waves of ecstasy washed over you.
âYou taste so damn incredible,â Terry growled against you, the vibrations sending another jolt of pleasure through your core. âLike candyâŠI could spend all night down here.â
His tongue danced expertly, swirling and teasing as he took his time savoring every inch of you. âDonât stop⊠Please donât stop,â you begged, your voice breathy and filled with desperation.
You could feel it building inside you, a tight coil of pleasure that threatened to burst. âIâm close, baby! Just like that!â You cried out, the words tumbling from your lips as his mouth worked its magic.
âYeah, thatâs it,â Terry growled, deepening his rhythm as he added a finger, sliding it inside you just right. âCâmon, let me feel you.â He watched with satisfaction as your body responded to him, arching and writhing beneath his touch.
âTell me how good it feels, sweetheart,â Terry demanded, his voice thick with desire. You could barely form words; each syllable was swallowed by the overwhelming waves of pleasure crashing over you.
âIt feels⊠so fucking good, Terry!â you gasped out, your hand finding the back of his head, pulling him closer as if that could draw him deeper into you. âDonât stop⊠I need to cum.â
âThen do it for me,â Terry urged, his tongue flicking faster against your sensitive bud while pumping his fingers in and out of you with expert precision. âLet me taste all that sweetness.â
And just like that, the coil inside you snapped. You cried out his name like a prayer, waves of ecstasy washing over you as your body quaked in pleasure.
âOh ahhh fuck, Terry!â Your voice echoed in the room as you caved to the bliss. He lapped at every sweetness that flowed from you, savoring your release as if it were the finest delicacy.
âDamn, baby! Youâre so beautiful when you cum,â Terry said, kissing along your inner thighs. You were panted, barely able to catch your breath.
âThat wasâŠâ You couldn't get the words out; they were still coming down from your high. âI know, baby girl,â he said, winking at you as he got off the bed to take his clothes off.
Terry climbed back on top of the bed, his muscular arms flexing as he positioned himself between your legs. His eyes locked with yours as he pressed the tip of his big, throbbing dick against your wet pussy.
âTell me what you want, sexy,â he purred in your ear, his warm breath sending shivers down your spine. âDo you want Daddy to make love to his good girl or fuck her senseless?â
You looked into his eyes, the fire igniting a corresponding flame within you. âFuck me, Daddy,â you growled, the words leaving a wake of desire in their path. âFuck me 'til I can't walk straight.â
"You got it, baby," he said with a mischievous grin. Terry slammed his dick inside you, filling you to the hilt and setting every nerve ending ablaze.
"Damn, mmmm...you feel so amazing!" His breathing was labored and erratic as he pulled back out slowly before slamming back in even harder.
"Goddamn, yes, Terry! yes, Fuck me like you mean it!" Your words mixed with moans as he relentlessly pounded into you. "Harder, Terry! I want it harder!"
"No problem, babe," he grunted, picking up the pace. Sweat beading on both your brows as your bodies slapped together in carnal rhythm. âIâm gonna give it to you so good,â he said with a moan.
"I know you will, Terry," you moaned. "I know you gonna fuck me senseless."
"You better believe it," he growled, reaching around to roughly squeeze one of your plump breasts, tweaking the hard nipple between his fingers.
"You like that, huh? You like it when Daddy squeezes your tits while he fucks you?"
"Yes! Yes, Daddy, I love it!" you cried out, arching your back to meet him stroke for filthy stroke. "Squeeze them harder, make me cum again!"
Terry obliged, pinching and twisting your nipples as he continued to pound into you mercilessly. Your moans filled the room, bouncing off the walls in a symphony of lust and desire.
"Oh shit, baby, I'm close," Terry grunted, his breath coming in short pants. "I'm gonnaâŠI'm gonnaâŠ"
"Cum inside me! Cum deep inside of me and show me how much you love me!" you screamed, your own orgasm building up once more.
"Damn, my nasty girl," Terry groaned before picking up the pace even more. âYour pussy is so fucking tight, sweetheart. Feels like heaven. fuck I love you.â
As if that were the final push needed, both of you came undone together. Terry roared out his release as he pumped hot thick ropes of cum deep inside you.
"Terry, Terry, Terry" you screamed, chanting his name at the top of your lungs as your body quaked with another mind-shattering orgasm.
Your bodies trembled together as the last waves of pleasure washed over you. Terry collapsed on top of you, his weight a comforting presence as you both struggled to catch your breath.
After a moment, he rolled to the side, pulling you into his arms. "That wasâŠincredible," you panted, nuzzling into his chest. "You're incredible," Terry murmured, kissing your forehead tenderly.
His fingers traced lazy patterns on your back as your heartbeats slowly returned to normal. You lay there in comfortable silence, basking in the afterglow.
#Terry Richmond x Black Reader#terry richmond x reader#terry richmond smut#terry richmond x black!reader#terry richmond fic#terry richmond fanfiction#aaron pierre#aaron pierre x black reader#terry richmond#terry richmond x black fem reader#black!fem!reader#black fem reader#terry richmond x black! fem plus size reader#terry Richmond x plus size reader#terry richmond x fem reader#terry richmond fluff#rebel ridge#terry richmond angst
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Some thoughts on ~*playing an asshole*~ and other related topics:
I've seen a post cross my dash a couple of times saying playing a kind hero has been very welcome in today's current climate--This isn't meant to be a vagueblog at all, and I even considered replying directly to that post, but it seemed like it was a very personal reflection. I really don't want to come across as trying to contradict that experience because I don't think it's a wrong experience to have.
Especially since I actually remember having a similar response to Ryder and Andromeda back in 2017. It came out about a year and a half after my mother-in-law passed away, while I was working insane overtime hours, and a few months into Tr*mp's first term--I found the optimism in Andromeda and the routes I could take with my Ryder's personality to be exactly what I needed during a really rough time.
So I get it, I really do, and I don't think anyone is wrong for feeling validated by Veilguard's optimism.
But that post did make me realize some of the reasons I personally have had such a hard time connecting to any of the Rooks I've made: I really lost my sense of self and reverted in a lot of ways back to people-pleasing* over the past few years, and it's really only been the past year that I've felt like I'm coming out of that. Because of this, many of Rook's responses in dialogue, often regardless of tone (although "crossed arms" options mitigate this some), reminded me of how I am when I want to be on my very bestest behavior, even to my own detriment.
It's my work persona, the "customer service voice," trying to keep everyone happy and at their best regardless of my own needs because if I see anyone crack, that feels like a reflection on me and my failures. But I'm not really being genuine. This isn't to say that I want to be a full-blown asshole to anyone IRL--I rarely do unless they're being a raging asshole first. But this kindness is armor born of self-defense. It is not kindness for the sake of kindness.
(*Because I know this will get mentioned if I don't mention it: Yes, I did appreciate Harding's observations about her own people-pleasing tendencies, but this is about Rook, not Harding.)
I want to pick apart the whole "be an asshole" line, too (just in general, not directed at anyone specifically)--I do recall seeing folks use that expression to describe their own wants in the game, but I kiiinda feel like it's starting to be used in bad faith, as shorthand for anyone who just wants to play a character with more bite to them. Being assertive or stoic or stubborn or direct or confident doesn't inherently make someone an asshole. But even these aren't really character traits that Rook can really claim without a lot of headcanoning.
(And tbf, Veilguard isn't unique in this regard--I always found the dialogue options for the Inquisitor to pale in comparison to Hawke or the Warden. (And I know some people feel like Hawke pales in comparison to the Warden so you know. All of this is one big YMMV.) But I still felt like I could more organically craft a personality in Inquisitor than I can in Veilguard.)
I will also say, though, that I see absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to play "an asshole," and I also find it to be a bad-faith read to assume anyone who wants to be "edgier" in an RPG is harboring some secret desire to hard people in the real world. In 2018, after a lot of my grief and fear had shifted into anger, playing a ruthless Renegade FemShep was goddamn therapeutic for me. I had a lot of pent-up rage, and it was so cathartic to channel that into this no-nonsense woman who saw what needed to be done and would get it done no matter the cost in a completely safe fictional environment where no one actually gets hurt.
Anyway, there's more I could delve into on this topic, but I think I'll save some of my other thoughts for quieter spaces. I was having a hard time pinpointing what was keeping me from getting invested in my Rooks, and this was kind of an epiphany this morning so I wanted to brain dump.
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Lust silently shook his head at the subject of Kai, agreeing that the time witch living in the only house he called home was a raging dick the Prince had only been cordial with for Azriel's sake. It's nothing short of surprising when the severity of Gluttony's punishment diminished how in tune his brother typically is with the intel floating about the mansion so he could understand how the reasons behind Kai's stay missed the prince of Gluttony's ears. As for the punishments courtesy of the King, Lust knew his punishment if he and Az came out of hiding would be rather permanent, Azriel would perish first painfully and slowly while he watched helplessly and then he himself would have died an agonizing death that perhaps Gluttony will be made to watch just to rub salt in the excruciating wounds. The anger shocked him, however, but it did not frighten him either. Lust rarely ever traveled such a dark route, playing the uncaring brother too preoccupied by the activities in the bedroom rather than the white hot fury his brother Wrath is well-known for. The prince dragged his attention on Gluttony, his sibling's grip grounding him from visions of ripping into the King's jugular even while he was not his kill. "Gluttony, look at me," Lust lifted his hands and wrapped his fingers around the other's wrists, hearing Gluttony's words and comprehending the dangers, but still willing to take them for the one person who gave him strength everyday. "The King might be too distracted by Isabel to come searching for us if the battle is as close to kickoff as you may claim. She has a plan and I am trusting her with it." The hinderance of emotions Bel was playing at still caused some concern, but he had faith in her and in the inkling the King would find her so intoxicating that punishing Lust took a backseat on his list of priorities. "We're on the cusp of the battle anyway, Gluts. I can't forgive myself if I don't make it home in time and it is already too late." Lust dropped his hands in exasperation, knowing he should wait but feeling the pull towards his brother dragging him to his twin. Aching to fill the void, complete it, the way it should always be. "Don't say that. I know the same spiraling thought that has crossed your mind since he took everything and trust me...it's a dark place. One I'd be in myself if I ever lost you." A thought he's had before back in Hell, yet, he begged to question what happened to a demon if he took his own life? "There is no me without you." He repeated sadly. "Not having you here, this is killing me, Gluttony."
Gluttony was the hub of all things gossip. The receiver and giver of information for a price was his currency. His vice. Losing his voice, however, led him down a quick landslide into eerie silence accompanied by a lack of information. Pushed outside of his own bubble of gossip that he didn't even know why Kai was in his home. Maybe Josephine told him, perhaps she didn't... all the Prince knew was his misery now. It was so hard to look past it and live that he fell apart at the seams. "He's definitely a raging dick if you can say that much about him." The Prince could only nod at his brother's correct assumption about their King and his fighting tactics. He may have been the first one to go down, but he wasn't the lastâ he's hitting every single one of them where it hurts most or where he thinks will cripple them. It didn't quite work in Pride's case. Gluttony almost flinched from the sheer fury coming from his brother suddenly after he detailed what their King had stripped from him, his hands falling away from his face so he could watch his brother speak with wide eyes. This wasn't the Lust he knew, but the Prince knew in his shoes, he'd be displaying the same amount of vehemence towards their King if he'd ripped everything that made Lust, Lust. The promise of coming home, however, caused Gluttony to reach out with lightning reflexes and grip the collar of his brother's shirt tightly. "You will do no such thing," the prince hissed, a sternness in his voice that he'd never used. At least not with Lust of all people, but Lust coming back into the open only to get killed was not on Gluttony's Bingo card for the year. "There is nothing I want more in this world than my brother by my side, but if our King gets one whiff that you're out of those wards, then he will make a beeline for you and I will not be the reason why that happens." It was Gluttony's turn to place his hands on Lust's shoulders, his face softening a fraction. "What he did was on him, and if you want to fight with me, then wait for the battle to come out when he's not so focused on you and is instead focused on Wrath and his Devil-killing weapon." Never in his life did he ever think that he'd be telling his brother to stay away from him, but this was to save Lust's life... and, in turn, save his very own. "He's already stolen Josephine's soul and my voice from me. You are the only thing in my life that's still whole. You're keeping me alive," Gluttony whispered, eyes pleading as his hands fell into his lap limp, "if you leave now and get killed, there's nothing keeping me alive anymore. Not even my love for Josephine, do you understand me? There is no me without you."
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Chapter 14
The dim, cold atmosphere of the sublevel stretches endlessly, the concrete walls seeming to close in around them as Minjeong stares down Jimin and Y/N. Her gun, aimed unwaveringly at Jimin, is her one anchor to the twisted reality she's committed herself to. Despite the anger in her glare, her hands betray her, trembling with a deep-rooted doubt. She clenches the grip tighter, forcing herself to stay steady, though the uncertainty stirs within her like a storm threatening to break.
Behind her hardened expression, her mind spins wildly, replaying Seulgi's words over and over. Seulgi, who'd been the only one to see her pain, had promised her everything she thought she wanted. "They don't care about you, Minjeong," Seulgi's voice echoes through her mind like a poison she can't shake. "They never did. But you don't need themâyou don't need anyone but yourself. If Jimin is out of the way, you'll have Y/N. She's always cared for you, hasn't she?"
Minjeong's eyes flick briefly to Y/N, just long enough to catch the hurt in her expression, and the sight tugs painfully at her heart. She remembers Y/N's warmth, the way she always seemed to understand her without words, even when everyone else saw only her tough exterior. But it doesn't matter anymore, she tells herself, forcing down the doubt rising inside her. She has to do this. She's made her choice.
That's when Irene, a calm but commanding presence, steps forward, her voice steady yet gentle. "Minjeong, look at me," Irene says, her gaze softening. "I know you're hurting. I know things haven't been easy, and that you feel used... but we're here for you. I'm here for you. Everything we've been throughâevery sacrifice we've madeâit was for all of us. For you, too."
The words, laced with empathy and regret, pierce through Minjeong's defenses. Irene's expression, so open and understanding, reminds her of the camaraderie they once shared. The long nights spent planning together, the laughter they shared, the times Irene had pulled her back from the brink. It had meant something once. But Irene's words also dig into old wounds, wounds she's tried to bury. She bites back the pang of nostalgia, her expression hardening as Seulgi's voice invades her mind again, urging her to stay strong.
With a bitter laugh, Minjeong shakes her head. "You're saying that now, but where was that loyalty when I needed it, huh? Where was it when you treated me like a weapon, like a disposable tool?" Her voice is cold, laced with resentment. "I was never more than what you needed me to be. Just the person who would get things done. And you'd all just leave me behind when it suited you." Every word is an echo of Seulgi's twisted influence, and it lands with brutal precision, making Irene visibly falter.
The look of pain that flickers across Irene's face stuns Yizhuo and Aeri, who exchange glances of realization. They knew Seulgi's manipulation had reached Minjeong, but they hadn't realized just how deep it had sunk.
Then Jimin speaks, her voice a stark contrast to Minjeong's bitterness. There's a gentleness in her tone, a raw honesty that slices through the room's tension like a knife. "Minjeong, listen to yourself. This isn't you. You know it's not." Her eyes search Minjeong's face, desperately seeking the friend she once knew beneath the anger. "We've fought side by side, Minjeong. We've faced things most people would run from. And every time, you were there, no matter what."
Jimin's words carry a weight of memoriesâevery mission, every close call, every moment where they had each other's backs without a second thought. "I remember the Minjeong who never wavered, who would protect all of us. Not the one standing here, aiming a gun at her own team." Her voice softens, her eyes imploring. "Whatever Seulgi told you, whatever lies she's filled your head withâit's not worth this. She's using you, Minjeong. She doesn't care about you. She's just making you believe she does."
Y/N steps forward, her voice trembling, but her words sincere. "Minjeong, I know you're hurting. And I know things have been unfair. But this path won't make it better. Hurting us won't make it better." Her voice wavers, her emotions raw, but she pushes through, hoping her words can reach whatever part of Minjeong still remembers their bond. "We're your family, Minjeong. Even now... we still care about you. Please, don't do this."
For a moment, Minjeong's fierce expression falters, her eyes flickering with vulnerability. Y/N's voice is like an anchor, grounding her, pulling her back to a reality she's tried to escape. Her hand slackens slightly, the barrel of the gun dipping as her resolve wavers. She wants to believe them, wants to believe there's a way back, a way where she isn't trapped in this twisted game Seulgi has drawn her into.
But as she considers their words, the memory of Seulgi's voice cuts through her hesitation. "They're liars, Minjeong," Seulgi had whispered, her tone full of venom and seductive promise. "They never saw you as anything but a tool. If you want freedom, if you want a life where Y/N is yours, you know what has to be done." The words wrap around her mind like chains, rekindling the anger she's tried so hard to suppress. She straightens, the fire of betrayal and hurt filling her eyes once more, and her grip on the gun tightens as she recalls every hurtful moment, every time she'd felt overlooked and undervalued.
In a heartbeat, Minjeong's expression hardens, her eyes cold and unreadable as she raises the gun. Her breathing quickens, her heart hammering in her chest. She meets Jimin's gaze one last time, something unreadable flickering in her eyes before she steels herself, pressing down on every other feeling clawing at her heart.
The shot rings out, sharp and deafening in the enclosed space. The bullet grazes Jimin's arm, embedding itself in the wall just inches behind her. For a moment, the world feels suspended, every breath drawn heavy and laden with tension. Y/N's hand flies to her mouth, a soft gasp escaping her lips as she stares at Minjeong, heartbreak and fear reflected in her eyes. Irene's expression shifts from shock to a grim understanding, the weight of Minjeong's decision settling over her like a dark shadow.
Aeri and Yizhuo stand frozen, their faces a mixture of horror and disbelief. They can see it nowâthe line that Minjeong has crossed, the line that may never be undone. The consequences of her choice, the rift she's created between them, settle into the silence that follows the shot.
Minjeong looks down at her own hands, as if suddenly aware of what she's done, her shoulders sagging under the weight of it. The conflict is still there, lingering, but it's swallowed by a numbness, a hollow realization that she has gone too far. She glances at Y/N, something akin to regret flickering in her gaze, but the walls she's built are too strong, her pride and pain holding her in place.
The silence is heavy, stretching endlessly, with no words left to bridge the divide that's grown between them. And for the first time, Minjeong seems lost, as if the reality of her actions is only just beginning to sink in, the enormity of what she's done pressing down on her until she feels as if she's drowning in it.
--
The silence following Minjeong's shot is thick, laden with fear and sorrow, as Irene steps forward, her steps slow and calculated. Her expression is composed but shadows of guilt and pain flicker in her eyes. She raises her hands slightly, showing Minjeong she's unarmed, but her gaze never wavers from the trembling weapon in Minjeong's grasp.
"Minjeong," Irene begins, her voice steady yet edged with a rare vulnerability. "You don't have to do this. You're not alone. We've all felt lost, pushed aside... unseen. And if I made you feel like you didn't belongâif I failed youâthen I'm sorry." The apology is quiet but holds a gravity that none of them had heard from Irene before.
Her words hang heavily, casting a new, raw tension over the room. Irene, the leader who never falters, now bearing her own failings for all to see. A silent plea glimmers in her eyes, as if begging Minjeong to find her way back, to turn away from the edge she's teetering on.
But Minjeong's expression hardens, her eyes flashing with something wild, unhinged. A twisted smile crawls across her face, both mocking and resentful, and she lets out a short, bitter laugh. "An apology?" she sneers, her voice shrill and unsteady. "You think that's enough to make up for years of being nothing more than your weapon on standby?"
She raises the gun slightly, her aim unsteady yet determined. "You only ever needed me for what I could do. You made me your disposable shield, Irene! All of you did! Every one of you saw me as just a tool, just your little soldier willing to do the dirty work and follow orders. But did any of you ever think about what I wanted? What I needed?" Her voice cracks, then rises again, an unrestrained wave of pain mixed with fury.
Her eyes dart from Jimin to Y/N and then back to Irene, as though she's sizing up every betrayal she's felt, every slight, whether real or imagined. Her grip on the gun tightens, but her hands are visibly shaking now. "You never understood me! You never tried to!" she shouts, her voice growing more manic, the resentment twisting her features as though she's struggling to hold herself together.
She takes a deep breath, her face twisted in a mix of anguish and something more desperate. "Seulgi... she was the only one who ever really saw me," Minjeong spits out, her voice lowering to a near whisper as if the name itself is sacred. "She listened to me, she understood me, and she promised me that if I took controlâif I did what had to be doneâI could finally have the life I deserve. A life where I don't have to beg for scraps of attention or watch the person I love with someone else."
She glances at Y/N, her expression softening into something almost fragile. The look in her eyes is full of a raw, obsessive intensity, a disturbing kind of love that borders on worship. "Y/N," she whispers, her voice taking on a pleading edge, "I've loved you... I've loved you for so long. But you never saw me, did you? You never looked at me the way you look at her." Her voice becomes choked, each word weighted with bitterness and longing.
"But Seulgiâshe told me that all I had to do was remove Jimin from the picture, and you'd finally be mine. She made me see what I deserve. She showed me that I don't have to live in the shadows anymore. I don't have to keep pretending to be happy just watching you love someone else." Her voice is almost a whimper, as if she's both pleading and demanding that her twisted desires be acknowledged.
She laughs again, high-pitched and manic, a sound that fills the room with an unsettling chill. "I was always second place to her, always second best. But Seulgiâshe promised me you, Y/N. She promised that if I took control, if I claimed what's mine, then you'd finally see me." Her expression twists into something dark, her eyes wide and almost feverish as she holds Y/N's gaze.
"Do you have any idea how it feels?" she hisses, voice shaking with both fury and despair. "To love someone so deeply, to watch them smile and laugh with someone else, knowing they'll never even think of you the same way? To be used, discarded, like I never mattered to any of you?" Her face contorts, the desperation seeping through her words as she struggles to maintain her composure, her emotions spiraling out of control.
Minjeong's tone shifts, filled with a reverence for Seulgi that borders on worship. "Seulgi was the only one who showed me the truth. She told me that Jimin was the reason I was kept down, that you were all too blinded by her to see what I could be. She offered me freedom, Y/N. She promised that if I got rid of Jimin, if I took control, we could finally have what I wanted, what I deserve."
As she speaks, her grip on the gun tightens, her gaze turning colder. Yizhuo and Aeri exchange horrified looks, each of them realizing just how deep Seulgi's manipulations run. Irene's face pales, the weight of her own past decisions bearing down on her, and Jimin, unflinching, remains focused on Minjeong, her jaw clenched in silent fury.
But Minjeong doesn't seem to notice their reactions. She's caught up in her own desperate need to justify herself, her gaze now feverish, unfocused, and lost in a storm of obsession and betrayal. "Seulgi showed me a world where I'm not a tool, where I'm not second to Jimin, where Y/N can finally love me the way I've loved her. And for the first time, I felt... seen."
A moment of silence stretches painfully across the room as Minjeong's manic declaration settles into the air, her confession a testament to how deeply Seulgi has twisted her thoughts. But even now, she clings to that image of a future Seulgi promised, a vision that has corrupted her heart beyond repair.
--
Minjeong's bitter words echoing off the cold walls. Aeri and Yizhuo look at her with desperation written across their faces, a mix of sorrow, horror, and fierce determination to save her from herself. Aeri's voice breaks as she calls out, "Minjeong... you're still our friend, still part of us. This doesn't have to be how it ends. We can get past this, together."
She takes a tentative step forward, her arm outstretched in a gesture that's both hesitant and hopeful. "Remember all we've been through, Minjeong. The nights we fought side by side, the dreams we shared... don't let Seulgi's lies take that from you."
Yizhuo's hands shake as she clutches her chest, her eyes brimming with tears that spill over, unrestrained. She pleads, her voice barely holding together, "You're still the girl who saved me once, who taught me to fight, to believe in myself... You're still our friend, Minjeong. You're still my friend." There's a depth of sorrow in her words, as if she's willing her friend to remember, to come back from the edge.
But Minjeong's face doesn't waver, her lips pressing into a thin line as her grip on the gun tightens. Her shoulders tremble as she fights the whirlwind of emotions churning inside her, her expression slipping between sorrow and unyielding resolve. "No," she mutters, her voice filled with a quiet but fierce determination. "You don't understand. I can't go back to just being a ghost in the background, to being overlooked."
Her gaze flickers between Aeri, Yizhuo, and Jimin, each face a reminder of the camaraderie they shared, the bond they once hadâbut the darkness in her eyes doesn't waver. "You all had each other... all I had was Seulgi. She made me feel like I was worth something, like I could be... enough."
A moment of raw vulnerability flashes in her gaze, as though she's pleading for them to see her pain, her fractured sense of self. But then, in a heartbeat, her expression hardens again, and she lifts the gun, her eyes blazing with a final, tragic defiance. "I'd rather die fighting than go back to being nothing," she says, her voice wavering but resolute.
Jimin's hand moves instinctively, the sound of the shot tearing through the tense air. Minjeong's body jolts, her hand instinctively pressing to her side where the bullet struck. She stumbles, eyes widening in shock as she looks down, fingers stained with the crimson that spreads through her clothes.
As she sinks to the cold floor, her breaths come in shallow, stuttering gasps. Her defiant mask crumbles, and for the first time, she looks so heartbreakingly vulnerable, stripped of all her bitterness and fury. Jimin's gun slips from her trembling hand as she drops to her knees beside Minjeong, her face a picture of anguish and remorse. She cradles Minjeong's head in her lap, her tears finally spilling over as she whispers, "I'm so sorry, Minjeong... I never wanted this. None of us did."
Minjeong's gaze softens, and she shifts her attention to Y/N, who kneels beside her, holding her hand tightly, trying to give her warmth, trying to keep her tethered to the world. Minjeong's eyes are heavy with regret, but there's also a painful kind of relief, as though the weight of all her anger is slipping away, leaving only the core of her true self.
"Y/N..." she whispers, her voice weak and trembling, but filled with a deep, heartbreaking longing. "I tried so hard... I just wanted you to see me. To... notice me the way you did her."
She gasps for breath, wincing at the pain, but forces herself to continue, her words tumbling out, desperate and raw. "I know I've done horrible things... but I loved you. I thought if I could just... if I could just make you see..." Her eyes well with unshed tears, and she looks at Y/N with a vulnerability that's both achingly familiar and tragically too late.
Y/N chokes back a sob, clutching Minjeong's hand as tightly as she can, trying to anchor her, to give her any small comfort in these final moments. "I'm so sorry, Minjeong," she whispers, her voice breaking. "I should have seen you, I should have been there for you..."
Minjeong's expression softens, and a faint, bittersweet smile appears on her lips. "Maybe... in another life," she breathes, her voice a mere whisper, "I would've been someone you could love."
Her gaze shifts back to Jimin, who holds her close, her face twisted with the pain of losing someone who was once her friend, her sister in arms. Jimin's tears fall freely, and she clutches Minjeong's hand, her voice raw as she murmurs, "I'm sorry, Minjeong. I... I never knew you felt this way."
A flicker of pain crosses Minjeong's face, but there's a strange sense of peace as well, a release from the anguish and resentment that had consumed her. "I just wanted... to belong," she whispers, her voice fading. "I just wanted... to matter."
Her breathing grows shallow, her grip on Y/N's hand slackening as she looks up at the faces surrounding her. A solitary tear slips down her cheek as she whispers her last words, barely audible. "Thank you... for being with me. Even... like this."
Her eyes close, her body going limp in Jimin's arms, the life fading from her features as she slips away, leaving behind an emptiness that seems to permeate the entire room. Y/N, Aeri, Yizhuo, and Jimin are left kneeling around her, the heavy silence pressing down on them as they come to terms with the loss of their friend, the devastation of what could have been.
The air is thick with grief, the weight of missed chances and unspoken words suffocating them. Jimin clutches Minjeong's hand one last time, her tears falling freely as she whispers, "Goodbye, Minjeong," her voice filled with the sorrow of a friend lost to the shadows of their own heart.
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The silence in the sublevels of the bank is deafening. The team stands in a solemn circle around Minjeong's still form, her face finally free from pain but shadowed with the tragic remnants of her final struggle. Y/N kneels beside her, her hand lingering over Minjeong's, as if she could somehow bring her back with a simple touch. Guilt presses down on her chest, her shoulders shaking with the weight of unsaid words, of a friend lost in the shadows she never realized were there.
Jimin watches Y/N in silent agony, her eyes glazed with sorrow and regret, her own heart shattering under the knowledge that it was her shot that ended Minjeong's life. She takes a deep, trembling breath, knowing there is one last act of respect she can give to the girl who was once her closest ally, her sister in arms. Without a word, she crouches down, gently slipping her arms beneath Minjeong and lifting her with a care that belies the brutality of the fight they had just been part of. She cradles Minjeong's body, determination flickering in her tear-streaked eyesâa silent promise that Minjeong will not be left behind, not even in death.
Irene steps closer, her expression a mixture of sorrow and responsibility. As she gazes down at Minjeong, her mind reels with the knowledge that her leadershipâher choicesâplayed a part in the tragic end they now witness. She tries to offer words, but none come. Instead, she places a gentle hand on Minjeong's shoulder, silently acknowledging the life lost under her command, the friend who had slipped through her fingers.
Yizhuo and Aeri exchange a look, both of them struggling to process the pain in their chests. Yizhuo wipes away a tear as Aeri wraps an arm around her shoulders, grounding them both in the promise that they won't forget Minjeong, that they won't let her memory fade into nothing.
Y/N's hand brush against Minjeong's lifeless fingers. Emotions war within herâpain, guilt, and a profound ache for a friendship fractured beyond repair. Aeri places a gentle hand on Y/N's shoulder, urging her to rise. "We can't stay," she says softly, though her voice trembles. "We owe her...we owe each other the chance to get out of this alive. For Minjeong."
The air is thick with sorrow, but time is slipping away. Aeri's voice, barely a whisper, breaks through the silence. "We need to go... reinforcements will be here soon." Her tone is steady, yet the strain of grief weaves through every syllable. She knows they cannot afford to linger, not with Seulgi's eyes everywhere and the sound of approaching footsteps echoing faintly from above.
Yizhuo looks down at Minjeong's lifeless face, her heart aching. She whispers, "We'll get out of here... and we'll do it for her." Though her voice trembles, there's a fierce determination beneath her words, a raw promise fueled by the grief and anger surging through her veins. She meets Irene's gaze, her eyes red-rimmed but unwavering. There's no room for doubt nowâonly the resolution that they will make it out together, that Minjeong's sacrifice won't become a forgotten casualty of Seulgi's schemes.
Jimin adjusts Minjeong's body in her arms, feeling the weight not only physically but emotionally, a weight that she now carries alone. "We give her a proper burial. She deserves at least that much," she whispers, her voice breaking yet filled with an unshakable reverence. The others nod, each of them sharing in that silent promiseâa promise to honor their fallen friend by seeing this mission through, even if the cost is high.
Each step out of the sublevels feels heavier than the last, yet with every painful stride, their resolve only grows stronger. They know this journey will not end with Minjeong. It is a vow made in the shadow of her loss, an oath they make to her memory: they will survive this, and they will not allow Seulgi's cruelty to shatter them again.
--
As they finally emerge from the hidden depths of the bank, slipping into the cover of the darkened streets, a figure lingers in the shadows at a distance, hidden in the cold quiet of the night. Seulgi watches them with an unreadable expression, her face bathed in the soft glow of a streetlamp. Her lips twist into a smile, one as bitter as it is triumphant. Her eyes remain fixed on the team, noting their grief-stricken faces, their silent determination, and the way Jimin carefully cradles Minjeong's body in her arms. It's a sight that should evoke sadness, yet for Seulgi, it's nothing more than a twisted satisfaction.
For Seulgi, Minjeong's death is merely a calculated lossâa piece removed from the board. Her satisfaction isn't in the death itself but in the anguish it has caused, in the fractures it has forced into their unity. To her, every tear, every expression of grief is a reminder of the control she wielded over Minjeong, a puppet who danced to her tune, even in her final moments. Already, she's moving on to her next plan, her mind weaving new threads of deception. Minjeong's death was simply one move in a grander gameâa step closer to breaking the fragile bonds of trust that hold the team together.
Her gaze follows them as they disappear into the night, her thoughts racing with cruel intent. She knows they'll regroup, that they'll cling to one another to find strength in their loss. But Seulgi's smile only widens, her gaze distant and calculating.
--
Once they reach safety, the group pauses to catch their breath, each of them haunted by the events of the night. Jimin is quiet, but determination now blazes in her eyes. She feels the weight of everything Minjeong's betrayal has cost them, yet also the strength it has imparted. Beside her, Irene, Aeri, and Yizhuo share her resolve, each of them carrying their own pain but united in one purpose.
Y/N clenches her fists, her gaze hardening as she looks at her friends. They know Seulgi won't stop here, that this is only the beginning of a more ruthless fight. But tonight, they make a silent promiseâto each other, to Minjeong's memory, and to the mission they still need to complete.
#aespa#aespa jimin#aespa karina#aespa x y/n#aespa x you#aespa x fem reader#aespa x reader#karina#karina x fem reader#karina x reader#karina imagines#karina fic#karina x you#yu jimin#yu jimin x you#yu jimin x fem reader#yu jimin x reader#yoo jimin#yoo jimin x you#yoo jimin x fem reader#yoo jimin x reader#wlw
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"Like there was no tomorrow." Daryl DixonâChapter 5.
Chapter Summary: Just when you thought you'd gotten rid of the Claimers, they arrive to try to destroy Carl and April's lives. There, Aeris gives you the second you and Rick need to protect the others, but the truth of the burns on your wrists comes to light as you confront one of the perpetrators. And upon the group's arrival at Terminus, you stay behind as the truth behind that "sanctuary" comes to light as well.
PAIRING: Daryl Dixon x reader
ERA: From prison onwards.
A/N: Hi! First of all, in an episode of TWD it is shown that the claimers want to SA Carl, so I want to warn you that this chapter talks about that. (Y/N) also talks about that with Daryl, telling him what happened to her best friend. It's not graphic because I don't like to talk about it too much, but I'm so sorry if anyone here went through that. I don't know what to say, but I'm so sorry. From here, I send you all my love!
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
You thought, mistakenly, that you had left the claimers behind two days ago.
But now, the not so lonely night grows darker, more terrifying as you feel the edge of the knife on your throat, with one of them pressing it against you as he keeps pushing you towards the ground with his body, feeling him in places you donât want to feel him. In a second, everything happens in a second and with the violence of a hurricane: Rick is on the ground in front of Joe, one of them pointing at Michonne while others continue to beat Daryl as he tries to fight back, with the sound of kicks and punches filling the emptiness of the world.
But the morbidity of those two men pushing Carl and April to the ground makes bile rise in your stomach, to the corner of your throat as you try to utter a word, and it is like taking a breath after being submerged in water for too longânothing makes sense.
The rules had changed in that new world that arose with the awakening of the dead, but some things remained the same: selfishness, the desire to destroy, the ability of some to break you into pieces but leave you alive so that you feel it in your skin, in your mind and in your heart.
But you are not going to let that happen, not again.
And the pressure that the man exerts on you triggers memories, that trauma of that night, but it also awakens that force that sometimes, under the right situation, is more overwhelming than fear.
"Any last word before we start having fun, doll?" He smiles, victoriously as his hand starts touching you.
And in that world that tries to bring you down at every moment, you find a way to spit your words at him.
âYeah, I'm not gonna let anyone else go through this shit, fucker!â
You find the force to press your lips together, leaving a small space to let out a sharp, loud whistle, the signal that Aeris takes to push her wings back and dive from the tree where she was hiding, landing with the force of a bullet against the man above you, embedding her hooked beak in his eye, so hard that a few drops of blood fall on your face.
The man screams and pulls himself off of you, hands on what's left of his eye. And like a fast-motion situation, everyone (who would become your group too as well) starts to gain strength. Joe, stunned, loses a second in his surprise, eyes wide in shock as Rick sinks his teeth into his neck, pulling on a piece of skin tied to Joe's body.
And the act is shocking, freezing the still-living bodies of Joe's group, but it is the second that Michonne uses to take the gun from the one threatening her, shooting him in the face, shooting the man behind Daryl, giving him the opportunity to take down another with a punch, his boot against the man's head until there is nothing left.
But while Rick kills the one holding Carl, you approach the man who was holding April down, (the little girl who runs towards Darylâs arms) hands in the air in surrender. Your body, small in comparison to his, and your anger looms over him like the shadows of the nightâand it is like as if everything loses meaning and sound, as if that anger had made you deaf, but that pang in your chest still gnaws painfully inside you, like a loud scream that only you can hear. Samâs scream, begging them to stop.
You squeeze the knife in your hand at the memory, so hard that the pain reminds you that you are alive.
"You don't remember me, do you, Gary?"
The man's face, who is kneeling on the ground now, is contorted in shock the moment he realized who you are, a frown over his terrified wide open eyes. And though you're not aware of how the others are standing in their places with their gazes on you, the memories you once pushed to the back of your back flash across your eyes with a destructive forceâand itâs painful and sickening.
âYouâŠâ He exhales the air his body can no longer hold.
âYeah, me. You donât look as big as you felt that night while you were raping my friend.â The words are disgusting in your mouth, and you stop yourself from spitting out the bile on your tongue. âI killed three of your friends that night while you all ran away, but I told them that sooner or later I would kill you too, so I'm waiting for the missing one. By the wayâŠâ You chuckle, humorless, with an emptiness in your chest that could fill the night. âI did find your brother a little bit later in a camp... and he died crying like a pussy.â
Hearing your words makes his blood rush to his face, his expression changing to one of pure hatred, eyes fixed on you, holding the last expression in his life until the moment you plunge the knife sideways, embedding it in his neck, so deep that all the edge disappears into his skin.
But as his body falls to the side, eyes frozen in emptiness, you feel absent, like an empty shell, like a body without a soul, numb, feeling absolutely nothing, just like Sam felt after that night. Shit, you think in shock as the possible truth hits you hard, was that what happened to April's mom too?
The rest of the night passes in an almost gloomy silence, as if a thick fog has settled around the living, as if the knife has been embedded in all of you and not in them. Michonne's lap welcomes Carl's head inside that old car in the middle of the road after the sun rises, stroking his hair as soft as a mother's memory. Outside, Daryl uses his pocket handkerchief to wet it and hand it to Rick, who has an absent-minded look.
âWe should save that water to drink.â Rick tries to be logical, even in the midst of his foggy confusion.
âYa canât see yerself, but he can.â Daryl hands it over, referring to Carl and his expression when his dad stabbed that man several times. Dary sits on the floor next to him, their backs against the car door, unable to swallow the lump in their throats at the result of a seemingly peaceful night that ended in death. âWe didnât know who they were. (Y/N) and I⊠we thought we'd be okay when we got separated from âem, I thought April would be safe. Joe told me that someone had attacked one of his group, but I didn't know that someone was ya.â
Rick is calm, absent, but calm.
"How did you three end up with them?"
Daryl shrugs.
"(Y/N) and I spent several days in the woods after the prison, tryinâ to get to the house where she was stayinâ with an elderly couple. Along the way we found April and Ruby, her mom, but she shot herself, but not âfore tryinâ to kill her daughter. That old couple was dead too when we got there, and after a few days we decided that we should keep lookinâ for our group until we came across âem. We knew they were bad, but they had a code. It was simple, or so it looked like."
Rick nods, a little more present in the now.
âYou two were alone while taking care of a little girl, and I get that you had to protect your daughter.â
There's a small laugh from him, a sound like the crackling of a campfire, warm and promising that makes Daryl scoff softly.
"April ain't really ma kid, but I want ma monkey to be safe. She deserves it." Like a dagger stuck in his chest that doesn't let him breathe, Daryl tries to calm his racing heart. âTwo days ago they said they spotted the man who killed their friend. Ainât sound right for us so we left, and yesterday when we met ya all, I thought we could forget âbout âem.â Daryl takes a moment, has to, to try and swallow the guilt that occupies his body, that bubbles up inside as if it has replaced his blood. âI didnât know what they could do. But shit, they almost destroyed Carl and April's lives.â
Remorse causes Darylâs gaze to fall to the ground, but Rick keeps his on him.
âItâs not on you, Daryl. HeyâŠâ His voice is soft but firm, a calling that makes Daryl able to look him in the eyes for a few seconds. âItâs not on you. You being back with us, now, thatâs everythingâŠ" Rick has to take a breath, but his next words are so meaningful that they are easy to say. "Youâre my brother. Okay?â
Rick's gaze is fixed on Darylâand it is transparent, full of honestly, so they take a moment to process those words, to digest them and give them a deep meaning that from that moment on, will be tattooed on the other's minds.
âWhat ya did last night, what (Y/N) did⊠everyone would have done that.â
Rick nods slowly, because his response to the impending danger still weighs on him, although deep down, he feels like a monster. It's like a crossroads, the constant reminder of having lived his life by moral rules, versus having acted like a savage, breaking those basic rules.
âIs (Y/N) okay?â
Daryl shakes his head.
âDun know. I didnât know her friend was assaulted.â
He falls silent, but the fear of finding out if you were too makes the world so quiet it threatens to drive him mad.
"Make sure she's okay."
"I can't." Daryl swallows, but his throat is so dry that he grimaces. "I feel like sâma fault. If I hadn't left her alone, we could have left town the night it all began and nothinâ would have happened to âem. I know she didn't want to leave me, but I pushed her away."
Rick frowns, confused.
"Can I ask why? I mean, you clearly love her, so I don't understand why you did that."
Daryl rubs his face with his hands before resting his head against the car, but his mind has a twisted sense of humor, and it shows him all the good times he had with you, cruelly mixing in with the night he told you he was ending the relationship.
âI always thought I didn't deserve her, that she could be with someone better, but I hid those insecurities âcause I wanted to be with her too. But one night, her father found out what kind of person she was datinâ, and with a little digginâ, he knew ma idiot brother was a drug dealer. Her father was a drunken bastard but he was a cop too, so he threatened to put Merle in jail if I didn't stay away from his daughter. Shit, I loved her, manâŠ" A sad, soft smile finds its way to Daryl's face, and in the midst of that sadness, Rick finds a way to smile too. "Like I never knew I could love someone, and fuck, I will always do, but Merle was ma only family, so I let her go.â
Rick nods, taking in his words, until he decides there is only one answer.
"Go with her, Daryl. The past is the past but she's here with you now. Thatâs all that matters."
Daryl wants to argue, to hide behind his fears like April hid behind his body, but he knows he can't, that the path behind him has burned down, forcing him to take only steps forward. So Daryl stands up and walks over to you down the road, April between your legs as she strokes Aeris who rests in her small hand. His heart is painfully squeezed as he sits down next to you, and if the world were a quiet place, everyone would be able to hear his heartbeat racing and pounding in his chest.
Your sleeves are still rolled up to your elbows, because now that the truth has come to light, there is no point in hiding the burns, and you can finally feel the warmth on your skin, the wind that travels freely.
âIt was about two months later after the end of the world began.â Your voice is soft, full with an overflowing sadness, but thereâs also a hint of calm amidst the stormy memory. âSam and I kept going on until we came across a group. A few men and two women, and I foolishly wanted to believe that people didnât think about hurting other people anymore⊠until they did. The rope around my wrists was cutting off my circulation, but it was worse the sight of those men taking turnsâŠâ
You glance at April, but sheâs more interested in admiring Aeris, as if sheâs capable of blocking out any kind of pain. Daryl feels like he's going to throw up from the anger as he thinks of the pain Sam and the other women went through, from the pain you went through seeing them, seeing your best friend like that.
"Did they touch ya too?"
But when you shake your head, he can feel just a little peace.
âOne of them told me they were saving me for last because they liked how feisty I was. It took me a while to burn the rope into the fire next to me, and the pain was so excruciating that afterward my body didnât recognize it as pain anymore. I didnât feel a thing. When I stood up, I was lost, and I grabbed the first thing I found and stuck it into the neck of one of them. Itâs almost funny to think of their scared faces, like theyâd seen the chupacabras in personâŠâ Your gaze meets Darylâs for the first time, and you both find a second to give the other a promise of a smile. âIt was easy to kill them with their pants down while three of them ran away like cowards, scared of a little person who at that moment, had nothing left to lose: maybe they saw that in me. After that, I found Gary's brother in another group some time later, and he knew who I was when I strangled him while he was sleeping. I guess this other one found the claimers after we left them. Now, I just have to find the last one.â
Your gaze is lost in a fixed point in the woods, but even so, Daryl can feel the weight of hatred in your eyes, the irreparable way in which they damaged you, although they didn't destroy you all the way, but they did something worse: they hurt the only person who mattered to you more than your own life.
"Ya will be okay, peach." Daryl is scared of losing you, like never before in his life. No, more scared than living without you after the breakup. But when your gaze meets his, he can see a small spark of hope. âWe will find a way. Okay?â
You nod, softly, but a fear stirs in you, dangerously.
"I guess you have a different image of me now."
But Daryl shakes his head, his eyes on yours for you to see he means it.
âNo. Ya did what ya had to do to save yerself and Sam, to save this monkey.â That word crosses April's ears and instantly, she snaps out of the dream, her frown deepening as she looks at Daryl, who returns the same expression. âWhat? Ya are.â
April shakes her head, too.
âNo. Iâm not!â
Daryl snorts, and that's the fire that ignites a funny argument between them, and you look at them in silence, wishing that they are that path to a better life.
But a moment later, when everyone feels calm again after the storm, you all take your things inside the car before heading back down the road, holding out hope that Terminus will indeed promise a safe haven. Michonne is ahead with Carl, Daryl and April behind them, but being last in line, as if the confusion of the outcome of events is still pulling you two down, you and Rick share a look before he speaks first.
âYou okay?â He says, softly.
You knew him little but you know he's good, and you can see his monumental attempt not to drown in his own actions to save his son.
âYeah. You?â
âIâm okay.â He smiles a little bit, sharing with you a look of hope before looking at Aeris now on your shoulder. âI wanted to thank you for what you did. Your bird was the one that gave us that second in which we could save ourselves.â
You smile, softly too.
"Thanks. This bird is like my daughter; you know? I may have given her a chance when she was a baby, but it's she who saved my life."
Rick nods.
"When we find the rest of our group, you can stay with us. I know you will be a good addition to the family."
You think about his words for a few seconds, nodding at him silently when you two reach the others, who are looking at a wood sign on the ground, with the name Terminus written there.
âWeâre gettinâ close.â Daryl says, making Rick nod.
âYeah. Now we head through the woods.â
Everyone turns off the main path, heading deeper into the woods until finally, after an hour or so, you all find the place surrounded by a fence. It's like a school or a factory, old, big and forgotten, with its name written on the windows for the people on the outside to see. Rick advises that you all split up into small groups towards the back, to get a better look at what could be a new home, so you do, and Daryl, April and you take the path to the left.
But why do you suddenly feel a pain in your chest? The weight of your backpack is heavier, and the strange feeling threatens to drown you, but it's like something you've already experienced, like when your body warned you that Mark and Ellie weren't okay, like when you woke up sweating before that call at the hospital to say your mom was gone, like that day your older brother got lost and never found his way back home. However, when you all reach the back fence, a new big panic takes over you as you feel the emptiness in your jeans pocket.
"I need to get back. I think I left Mark's watch on the side of the road."
Daryl looks at you, incredulous, his frown deepening.
"Ya ainât goinâ anywhere. Are ya crazy, woman?"
You chuckle at his words.
"I didn't ask for your permission, Dixon." Your gaze stays on him, while the others staying silent, but sensing the tension. "But Mark was more of a father in one month than my own father was my entire life. So I'm going back... can you take care of April or not?"
"(Y/N)..." Rick takes a step between you, cutting off the frustration you're both starting to feel. "If that watch is that important, I can go with you. Okay?"
You shake your head, trying to smile softly at him.
"Thanks, Rick, but you have to take care of your son. I know it sounds stupid, and I know it is, but that watch was important to Mark because it was the first gift from his wife when they got married. And I've been taking care of myself just fine this whole time, so you donât need to worry about me." You look back at Daryl, softly this time while ignoring the plea in his eyes. âCan you, or can you not?â
For Daryl, it's like letting you go again, unprotected, exposing him to the terror of you leaving him forever, but Daryl knows what not feeling your dad as a dad left in you, so holding on to the last memory of Mark is what gives you the strength to continue. So he nods, defeated. But April clings to your hand, tighter this time, telling you with her eyes and sweet voice not to leave her, so you crouch down in front of her, your hands that are bigger than hers enveloping them in your warmth.
"I'll come back for you, baby. I'm not going to leave you alone."
You look confident, but April has to make sure of that.
"You promise?"
"I promise, love." When you try to get up, her unsure and timid voice keeps you on one knee. "Yes?"
For a moment, April can't look you in the eyes, as if she understands the devastating fear of rejection, because at her young age, she had experienced what it was like to feel rejected by her own mother, left to her own devices, unloved or unwanted by either of her parents.
"When you come back, will you... be my mommy?"
Itâs strange, but when her gaze finally meets yours, the world suddenly makes sense again, it has a purpose, because April is stronger than she thinks, brave and resilient, but innocent too despite everything, and you want to keep that intact. And it's also sweet how that feeling of protection towards her blossomed when Ruby told you that April was your baby from that moment on, and even though you haven't given it a title, you feel that way.
"Of course, sweetheart." To let her feel your warmth, you push her hair back, your hand on her cheek. "I've been your mommy since that afternoon, so you're stuck with me forever."
It's overwhelming the feeling that doesn't fit in her small body, pushing her into your arms for a moment before pulling apart from each other, watching them jump over the fence, walking towards different directions.
Rick takes the lead as they cross the back yard to the door of that building, Daryl keeping April in the middle while holding his crossbow, Michonne and Carl at the end. The hallway is deserted the whole way, but a woman's voice from the speakers echoes everywhere, until they walk through another door, into a large warehouse-like space. A few people are working around, unaware of the new presences until Rick approaches the woman at the desk, eyes wide in surprise.
Rick's voice saying hello echoes through the big place as well.
âWell, I bet Albert is on perimeter watch.â One young man says with sarcasm, surrounding one of the desks where he was working with a few people. âYou here to rob us?â
âNo. We wanted to see you before you saw us.â Rick takes a few steps.
âMakes sense.â The young man chuckles, taking a few steps too, opening his arms as a sign of welcome. âUsually we do this where the tracks meet. But⊠welcome to terminus. Iâm Gareth. Looks like youâve been on the road for a good bit.â
âWe have.â Rick nods, looking at the rest to introduce them. âIâm Rick. Thatâs Carl, Daryl, April, and Michonne.â
Gareth waves his hand, smiling warmly, stopping a few steps away from Rick, whom he seems to recognize as the leader.
âYouâre nervous, I get it. We were all the same way. We came here for sanctuary. Thatâs what you are here for?â
âYes.â Rick answers.
âGood. You found it. Hey, AlexâŠâ Gareth looks back for a second when the other man approaches. âThis isnât as pretty as the front. We got nothing to hide, but the welcome wagon is a whole lot nicer. Alex will take you, ask you a few questions. But first, we need to see everyoneâs weapons, so, if you could just lay them down in front of you.â
The group falls into a silence, debating internally whether doing this is right as they look into each other's eyes, but in the end, Rick nods, pulling his gun front his waist to put it on the ground like the rest of them when the men come closer to search for any on their bodies.
âHi, babyâŠâ Gareth smiles at April, who is hiding behind Daryl. And satisfied, he steps back. âJust so you know, we are not those kind of people out there, but we arenât stupid either. And you shouldnât be stupid enough to try anything stupid. As long as everyoneâs clear on that, we shouldnât have any problems. Just solutions.â
After that, the group pick up their guns and weapons.
âFollow me.â Alex smiles too, a little bit nervous.
There is another door on the opposite side of the place, and when the young man opens it, the sun shines again like a lie, like a false sign that everything is okay as they all step out, walking between two big buildings.
âSo how longâs this place been here?â Daryl asks, his hand holding April's.
âSince almost the start. When all the camps got overrun, people started finding this place. I think it was instinct, you know? Follow a path. Some folks were heading to the coast, others out west or up north, but they all wound up here.â
They stop in the front yard, with a woman smiling at them, cooking something on an old grill.
âMary, would you fix each of these new folks a place for me?â
Michonne looks at Alex, suspiciously.
âWhy do you let people in?â
âThe more people become a part of us, we get stronger. Thatâs what we put up in the signs, invite people in. itâs how we survive."
Alex starts delivering plates full of meat, but in that moment, after Rick finished analyzing the situation, his eyes stop on the chain tied from Alex's waist towards the pocket of his pants. It's an old watch and he instantly knows who it belongs to, so Rick raises his gun to place it at Alex's temple from behind, using his body as a shield as the people around him draw their own weapons, with his group doing the same.
Alex threatens that there are more of them, but Rick doesnât care.
âWhere did you get that watch?â
Alex raises his hands.
âI got it from a dead man. I didnât think heâd need it.â
âYeah? What about the riot gear? The poncho?â
âGot the riot gear off a dead cop.â Gareth is behind, calm even when Rick uses Alexâs body to protect himself. âFound the poncho on a clothesline.â
âGareth, we can wait.â Alex tries to talk, but Gareth shuts him.
âNot. Talk to me.â Rick says.
âWhat can we say? You donât truth us anymore. Rick, what do you want?â
âWhere are our people?â
Right there, everyone knows it's all a trap, a lie, an ambush. Rick shoots Alex, and Michonne takes April in her arms as she tells Daryl to use his own gun, shooting at a couple of people as Carl does, while Garethâs people shoot at their feet, leading the group down a path, cornering them all the way until they stop in front of another fence next to a train car.
There are too many for the group to handle, and momentarily defeated, they all do as Gareth orders, entering the wagon. The darkness they are plunged into is stifling when someone closes the door, but the sight of the remaining members of their group is like a breath of fresh air, like a little light filtering through the door.
Scared and confused, April holds Daryl's hand, who, furious, still finds a little hope among those ruins, his gaze fixed on Rickâjust like Michonneâs, Carlâs, Glennâs, Maggieâs, even Samâs, your best friend and everyoneâs else. Rick and the others are scared, but the leader still finds his voice, confident enough to prove them that they are stronger.
âTheyâre gonna feel pretty stupid when they find out theyâre screwing with the wrong people.â
And it's a promise he's willing to keepâwith your help and with the help of someone else.
@fluffy-dixon @stunkbiggu @kurogxrix @ffsjustletmesleep @kaz11283 @daryldixmedown @enretrogue
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#daryl dixon imagine#daryl dixon x reader#daryl dixon x y/n#dad!daryl dixon#daryl dixon#daryl dixon twd
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Both my parents actually suffer from HORRID emotional dysregulation and are prone to snapping and going into rages. My sister is the same way tbh. I am now realizing this is why they are constantly baffled by the question of whether or not I am mad at them.
I don't have external meltdowns.
I could. I don't let it happen.
I keep my rage on the inside and stay pretty quiet about it. It's just as strong as theirs [physically shaking nose bleed from high blood pressure kind of bad], but like as a kid I saw how terrifying it was to be around [dad breaking dishes, mom putting our lawn chairs into walls] and I just internalized that I wasn't going to wear that anger on the outside.
So my mother genuinely cannot tell if I am just being quiet or if I am silently hearing the dial-up noises of pure rage. This has lead her to both making strong and confident statements like "You are a pacifist who would never hurt a fly U.U" but also acting like I am secretly dangerous maybe... It's because she has never seen me snap.
She knows what her temper is like [throwing chairs through walls], she knows what my father's temper is like [pick up child and toss out door], and she can tell I am being tested, but she doesn't know what happens when I snap or where that breaking point is.
Her -perhaps unhinged- solution to this, my whole life, has been to do things that should obviously enrage me or shut me down completely, like ignoring important boundaries, repeatedly, punishing me for expressing emotions or needs at all, etc... And then to constantly ask me if I am angry with her when I get too quiet [right after near directly telling me to shut up].
It has occurred to me now, they have never once seen me lose my temper, so they literally just can't tell if I am angry at them. My sister is easy, my mother fights and screams with my sister constantly, my mother understands this. My mother doesn't have any grasp of feelings or boundaries that are not screamed at her [apparently, and I fear my sister is the same way]. Her and my sister are close despite constant fucking fighting because they understand each other.
They are trying to get me to engage the same way and it is not working. I realize now that this has been hard for them.
I was so successfully taught to suppress my emotions, by being punished for any outburst, that rage quiet looks the same as any other kind of quiet from the outside. To them anyway.
I did tell her. For the record. I used my words. I did tell her very calmly that my response to rage, in order to avoid doing the things that terrified me as a child, was to simply leave [the autistic urge to GTFO]. When a situation or person causes too much of the dial-up rage noise, I simply extract myself from that situation, up to and including never speaking to a person again. I explained this calmly. I explained it calmly 100 times and I explained that I explain myself calmly as my rage response 1-5 [also pretty much every other negative emotion tbh], and I told her that what came next was me simply opting out and fucking off. I told her this. I couldn't understand why she never took me seriously, or why she never fucking understood.
I couldn't understand what made her like this.
But it's the same problem I have with everyone else multiplied by a factor of 10.
If I am explaining myself calmly, they can't understand that it's actually serious or that I am actually upset. ESPECIALLY because they read me as "female" and women "aren't that rational" so if I am not screaming and crying about something, which I never do, people assume I can't be upset and it isn't serious.
And then after having my boundaries ignored too many times despite having calmly explained how and why it's a problem [shaking inside or not]... I leave. I leave and everyone gets upset like this is unexpected behaviour, even though I told them 50 times that is how I would respond if they kept doing *the thing.*
And for neurotypical people especially, they are expecting there to be a disconnect between what someone says they need or feel and what their actually boundaries and feelings are, and they expect the latter to be demonstrated with emotions. Telling them bluntly you do not function that way somehow never helps?
My mother isn't just looking for normal yelling or a few tears to know I am serious, whether or not I do those either [I don't], she's looking for an explosion to know there's a problem at all.
Fucked if I know how she proceeds through life this way in general or if this is just her expectation of her own kids???
And I couldn't get why my mother couldn't read my emotions and didn't seem to think I have any. It's because she's testing for the rage limit to see where my 'actual' limit is instead of taking my word for it. Never the fuck mind that she could simply *not* test at my boundaries instead of letting me have them. Separate issue.
I couldn't figure out what made her *like this*
She's expecting me to throw a giant meltdown violent tantrum at people when I have 'actually' had enough. Maybe she got away with those being like 5'4" in another time, but I am the size of the average man, I do not get to have giant screaming rages, whether or not people perceive me consciously as a woman, and least of all because a lot of people -at least unconsciously- read me as 'masculine' or at least always "they guy" of the situation compared to all other women and some men [bigger stronger and more rational, more able to just absorb the damage and let it go so the less rational screaming/crying one doesn't have to be dealt with]. Even if it was in me to be willing to terrify people [usually never], there are such limited instances where it wouldn't just blow back on me. Potentially very dangerously.
I am going to be the quiet calm one. You are going to have to let me use my words, bitch.
So she kept ignoring my boundaries until I had to cut her out of my life, and she probably doesn't understand and probably thinks it feels sudden -after 36 long years of bullshit- abrupt and unfair.
But I told her hundreds of times.
I probably should have just screamed at her.
#good stay out of our yard' and he didn't seem to know what to say to that#but other than that I don't think anyone in my adult life has ever seen me turn aggressive at all to the point where people 100% like to#play games of testing my patience and my boundaries because they think my tolerance is infinite#but like I have autistic rage tantrums on both sides of my family and they are just happening inside my head#And somehow it took me until now to realize that being that way was actually -expected- of me by my parents and especially my mother#and that by keeping myself outwardly level headed to be considerate I actually took away whatever signals she can understand#to have empathy for how I must be feeling#I mean it's still all on her#but it makes so much sense of why she's fucking *like this*#And why my sister thinks I hate her just because -she- stopped texting -me-#but that fucking guy#Every time I was like#In my adult life I have screamed at someone ONE whole time and it was 1000% deserved#And I threw heavy objects around one whole other time and in my defense I didn't do it in front of the guy he just felt the ground shaking#heard the thuds and came back to the logs blocking his path because that fucker wouldn't stop parking in our yard after being asked#and then TOLD not to about 10 times because he was acting entitled to just park in our yard and was crushing my plants???#seriously I don't know what his deal was but he wouldn't stop telling me how much the ground shaking scared him like it was supposed#to get my pity like I think this guy took one look at the logs I had just tossed down and was suddenly afraid of this âwomanâ he was#bullying in their own yard and so my ability to feel bad for scaring him had gone straight out the fucking window#I looked at him and said stop parking in our yard instead of your own you are killing my plants#he'd just fucking be like 'well the last people to live here let us D: :)â and I'd be like âgood for them?â âstopâ#and he'd just keep doing it#I was having a week of insomnia and was finally having the best dream#the kind of sex dream you have like twice in your life#and this fucker had just gotten some noisy ass little bike with a spoiler on it#and starts it up right under my window at 3am from IN OUR FUCKING YARD#so I had a nice long anger nap and just after he got home from work and was sleeping in his house#I picked up these chunks of deadwood tree from the back#there was like 3-4 logs that used to be a WHOLEASS fucking oak tree Like these logs were not as heavy as they -looked- but they were still#this fucker deleted half the tags I wrote and I am not retyping that fuck you tumblr so fucking hard
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I gotta answer this one, because if I'm not included in 'people' here, I'd be surprised, because this particular axe is one I find it very difficult not to grind for some reason (...Probably one I just need to articulate for myself). Also, I'm answering because I love your blog and though I have read and understood what you meant, as detailed above in paragraph 1, I still disagree, and paragraph 2 does not reflect anything I heard or thought you meant. Again, if I am not 'people' in this case, I apologize for the presumption.
I'll start with thing 2, which is something I think about love, and it's this: I don't agree that there is a any way in which relationships and forgiveness 'should' function. I think love is a relationship in which we don't owe anyone anything, but where, out of our own freedom, we choose to give everything. I also think that relationships are as individual as people, and as complex and the two people in them, that each one has its own character and way of functioning, and that no one but the people in them really understands exactly what it is.
Basically, it comes down to this: I think ALL narratives about how relationships and forgiveness 'should' function are questionable narratives, and not because I'm an edgelord, but because I think that love, relationships of love and forgiveness are all products of our freedom and free will, and that they cannot be obliged or owed; they can only be freely given.
Taking that to the show, I think it's probably the main reason I love Supernatural so much is what it's saying about the nature of love, forgiveness, goodness and relationships, and the relationship of these things to freedom and free will. I think these themes are at the heart of what the show is doing. Dean and Cas's very specific love story arises so organically out of who they both are, and and out of the the way they both have their hearts oriented on the other, while trying to navigate their inhumanly difficult circumstances, traumas and personalities.
This might go long, so...
Dean is probably my favourite character EVER. I love him and I am not at all joking when I say that I think he is in some important way essentially and elementally faultless, but with that in mind: I think Dean is really unfair to Cas in the end of season 14. In Absence, when he blames Cas for not telling him something wasn't right with Jack when Dean knew FULL WELL that something wasn't right with Jack? I just felt that was not fair, full stop, and I think Dean knew it!
They ALL KNEW that Jack was in trouble.
Dean's anger is a crutch he leans into when the things he's feeling hurt too much, and in that episode, Cas walks into that cabin and Dean, fearing what's happened to Mary and Jack, turns his back on Cas immediately. He's feeling pain, fear and loss, and Cas arrives (feeling the very same things!) and Dean immediately directs all of his vulnerable feelings at Cas as anger. Cas, on the other hand, is immediately and verbally vulnerable with Dean. He expresses his pain, fear and sense of loss to Dean using WORDS. Says outright that he was afraid, that he made a mistake in trying to go it alone, that Jack was good for them and made them a family, that he didn't want to lose that, expresses guilt over his faith in Jack, which now seems misplaced. I have to say that there is almost no moment in Supernatural that I find more painful than the one just before Dean breaks the chair in that cabin. I hated the way I could see it coming. I hated knowing that his pain would be expressed as anger.
I also think it undermines Dean's inclusion of Cas in his notion of family when they lose Mary, and Dean behaves as if the loss is only theirs, and not Cas's. Cas loved Mary too. Cas lost her, too, and Cas feels responsible for what happened to her, but Dean can't let himself acknowledge that he has any responsibility at that moment because it's too painful so... he blames Cas. The reality is that neither of them is to blame AT ALL. It was Jack, who is compromised, and it was the work of a weak moment -- A horribly tragic, fucking awful accident. Later, at Rowena's place, Dean admits to Sam that he knew there was something wrong and that he was warned at Donatello's, but that he just couldn't see it (couldn't LET himself see it I think, because he's holding onto that little family as hard as Cas is), but despite that he still directs all his anger towards Cas for the rest of the season despite the fact that Cas loses Mary, loses Jack, loses Rowena, and on top of all that, is losing Dean -- his whole family and the person he loves most all at once -- the whole time.
At Mary's pyre, Cas wants to comfort Dean, and Sam doesn't let him, which...ok Sam, good time to finally acknowledge how Dean processes grief. I guess there's a first time for everything! And, at the hunter's wake in the bunker, I find Cas standing there behind Dean, but estranged from Dean and in some important way, excluded from Dean's grief, really painful. Am I blaming Dean? No! He is who he is, and he is deeply profoundly good, and deeply, profoundly in pain.
So, Cas went it alone, again!, which is his mistaken pattern, and he did not tell them about the snake. That was wrong, and Cas admits as much. On Dean's side, his anger is also legitimate problem, and more importantly, it's also a lie he is telling himself, because he is not really angry, he is grieving, and he is broken-hearted and the pain and never-ending horror of everything that follows is overwhelming him. Then, as we all know, the hits keep coming right up until their break up in The Rupture, at which point both of them are so wracked with pain, loss and guilt that BOTH OF THEM act against their own hearts -- Cas by leaving, Dean by letting him walk out.
As I said above, I don't think that in love, you can OWE anyone anything, and definitely not an apology, but I think you can give the person you love grace out of your own exigency and freedom, and I think that's what Dean does, and it's also what Cas does. I don't agree that the episode legitimizes Cas's worse tendencies, and I don't think there's a way forgiveness is 'supposed to function.' I think Dean apologizes because he loves Cas, and he needs to get right with himself and with his own heart. Dean knows in his own bones his anger towards Cas was wrong, that it keeps them apart when they should be together, and more than that, that it was a lie -- a lie that his love, which is much stronger than anything else in him, can't let him hold onto when he realizes that he may have lost his chance to tell Cas that he loves him, that he wanted him to stay. I don't agree at all that it amounts to the story telling us that Dean has to get over everything forever. They both caused the rupture, they both forgave, and I also understand why Dean had to say it FOR HIMSELF at that particular moment.
For me, The Trap is not about absolving Cas, it's about Dean getting right with Dean, not because Cas is owed an apology, but because Dean has to give one for his own sake. Cas forgave Dean a long time ago, and didn't need an apology to do it, he only needed to know Dean's heart, which he does. Just like I think Dean forgave Cas while he was walking up the fucking stairs to leave and Dean was realizing that he didn't want him to go, even though he was too down in it to say so then.
For me, the episode is deeply satisfying as a Dean Enjoyer because I love when Dean's beautiful, loving, gorgeous heart wins, and I love watching him speak it, and tell the truth about what he feels, both to himself and to Cas. I love that Dean's exigency is ALWAYS love. That Dean has it in his power to give Cas that grace, and with it, probably gave Cas the strength to fight.
Ultimately, I think the nature of love and forgiveness as something that can only be freely given out of one's own exigency is such an important thing that Supernatural is saying about love and the responsibility it engenders. Does Dean OWE something to Cas? No, not really. Does he, out of his own needs and his own freedom have to give everything? Because that is what love requires? Yes. And he does.
He always does.
And it just makes me love him so fucking goddamned much. For me, that is the satisfaction of The Trap.
What you say: The Trap is a dissatisfying episode that presents some questionable narratives about the way relationships and forgiveness should function, and never meaningfully addresses any of Casâs problems. Instead, it legitimizes Casâs repeated tendency to keep secrets as a reasonable behavior that Dean needs to get over.
What people hear: Dean did nothing wrong and nothing he ever said about Cas was ever unfair. Cas is entirely and solely responsible for the breakdown of his and Deanâs relationship and Maryâs death is all his fault. Cas should die. Destiel is dead and Cas killed it. I hate him and he smells. Also I killed at least three of your dogs.
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You have to choose love. I'm sorry, I know. I know it hurts. I know you're upset, you deserve to be outraged. Your pain is real and deeply unjust. But you have to. You have to choose love.
There's too much hurt in the world. Too much bitterness. The powerful have built an inconciecable machine that turns all human suffering into unimaginable wealth, and it us hurting all of us. It has taught us to hurt each other.
We can't let it continue. We can't keep lashing out at each other. We can't keep making enemies of our siblings in pain. We have to choose love. We have to.
We have to forgive each other. Not entirely, we don't have to forget our pain, but we have to forgive enough to see each other as more alike than separate. We have to forgive each other for being taught to cause hurt.
I'm not your enemy. You aren't mine. There are people poisoning our planet en masse, killing our mother earth, erasing whole cultures, stripping human rights to keep us disempowered. We can't let ourselves become each other's enemies, even when we hurt each other.
Your pain is real. You deserve better. We all do. But we'll only achieve better if we save our ire for the real bigger fish. We can't keep fighting over the details, we all already agree on the most important part: we deserve better.
Language will always be muddy, we won't all speak the same meaning into the same words. We're gonna step on each other's toes, hurt each other deeply, even when we mean to be gentle. We're going to make mistakes along the way, we'll be misguided. But we have to forgive. We have to choose love.
I know this is preachy, I know this is vague, I know this is corny. I know. I'm just.. scared. I'm terrified. Every day I see so many like-minded people on here who would sooner tell one another to kill themselves than agree to fight for our common causes because of deeply held presumptions of character built on superficial things. I see people declaring anyone who finds joy in the wrong things, the wrong labels, to be as good as an abuser, as the very people who've put the boot on our necks in the first place.
I see so many people see the state of our world, the abysmal status quo, and respond by pouring a deep righteous passion into delineating who of us is a worthy enough aly and who is effectively a walking incarnation of their ideological enemy.
We'll never be able to achieve the unity we need to take our rights back if we're so quick to make teams and choose sides. I know, I know that a lot of these things actually matter, I'm not trying to dismiss the significance of any of these things.
What I'm saying is that, despite these conflicts, we need to swallow our differences and choose to love each other enough to focus not on the ways in which we are divided, but on our unity in oppression. Every LGBT person is threatened by any of us having our rights taken, we are a family. Every internet user, proship, antiship, vanilla, kinky, artist, lurker, all of us are threatened by attacks on privacy, by the advancement of censorship of any kind.
We can sort out our grudges when there's time. But I can't help but think too much is too dire for us to let ourselves choose to fight each other as enemies when we're all in such similar need of better.
We need humility in the face of error. We need to let go of the fear of being wrong, of having believed the wrong things, fought for the wrong causes, of having hurt other people. We need to release our guilt, for no amount of it will ever heal a wound inflicted, reverse an error made. We need to see even our enemies as human, even the worst of us as human. We need to remember that we, and others, can always make a choice.
Everything is so, so goddamn scary. It's hard to know what to believe, and who to trust, and who and what and where is safe. And I think that the answer has to be love. We have to love recklessly, we have to be kind no matter what. We have to trust ourselves to change, to be capable of change, of being accepted for changing, we have to trust each other to mean well, to accept us when we try to improve. We have to give second chances, we have to seek the humanity behind each other's actions, and seek to connect with it.
I love you. I want to make a better world with you. Even if we believe different things, I want your life to be easy. I want food in your fridge, I want joy to be an old friend you can always count on being in your daily life. I want rest for you. I want sleep to come easy, I want you to feel safe. I want you warm in the cold, and cool in the heat. I love you.
#I keep drafting posts like this#I don't know what I want to change or do I just#I want us all to fight less#we have more in common than anything else#we're not separate#we're all just animals who are scared and traumatized#and I think we should be each other's respite#I'm not a fool for loving the monster. I'm not careless for pushing through the cuts and claws#I will hold and hold and show gentleness until it clicks that even if I deserve to show anger#I will still choose to be safe#we all need to feel more safe#I want to add to that#I hope you will too#problemnyatic rambles#probpemnyatic thoughts
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Saw this prompt for incorrect OC quotes and couldn't resist with a bunch of my Breach goobers. Some of them would absolutely say these things word for word in canon if I gave them half the chance to, though. XD
They're in order of when they showed up in person - QÄ«ng, Ghost, Red, Marisol, Shio, Cam, Daruk, Tawoos, and Alondra - as well as some important honorable mentions who have only been mentioned or gotten dialogue - Star, Blake, and Creation.
Star's design is a slight spoiler, I suppose, but it doesn't reveal if they're human or impostor, so it's all good. Creation's "design" also isn't a spoiler at all, because They can look however They want, LOL. As for Shio...some of you who have seen the body horror I've done of them may be wondering why they look so normal here, but I promise there are Reasons. :3c
In other news, will I be making a liar out of Shio in an upcoming Breach canon divergence? ..........Maybe~ >:3c
#original characters#breach#among us#(technically lol)#look i even revealed what their colors would be - as if it wasn't already patently obvious#aside from creation but - uh - ignore them (trust me it's better this way)#meanwhile qīng's color isn't even available which is a Damn Shame#there needs to be a sky blue already ffs#cyan ain't cutting it#if it were an actual lobby qīng would waffle so hard between blue and cyan and would miss his chance to pick either XD#the closest quote to canon is cam's because she REALLY wants a different job and she'll take yours in a fucking HEARTBEAT#meanwhile the closest quote to BECOMING canon is creation's and it is taking all of my willpower to resist their insistence that i allow it#the most incorrect quote of all is definitely blake's - he is so mad at me for drawing this and calling out how he feels about his old job#the biggest lie here is red's - he absolutely thinks about breaking rules and does it a lot more than he'd like to admit#someone give poor tawoos a fucking break - they didn't ask for this#i promise that marisol is more than The Bitchy Sunflower Girl - just give her some time - i promise#alondra has other aspects too but she would be weirdly offended if you tried to assure her that she's more than just Squeaky Mouse Girl#if daruk ever had to go to anger management he would accidentally incite a rage riot just like dan did in that episode of dan vs#ghost i'm sorry but your fashion sense is incomprehensible and i don't even know how i come up with half the stuff i put you in#did blake steal the jacket off of crinklytinfoil's pink/chase from the skeld? absolutely not - he borrowed it cuz those two would be BUDS#these tags are ridiculous#ok im done now
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I think the thing about the way people conceptualize empathy is... when you're interacting with other people, they are going through things that, which you may empathize with, you won't always understand, partially because you're two different people, but also because not all situations are 1:1 copy-pastes that are easy to understand.
This isn't saying that empathy is useless, but that acknowledging when you relate personally to somebody and yet also recognizing that this is their struggle is important. When people pretended to empathize with me, it made me feel like I was being placated to. I felt like people were only trying to shut me up by saying that they, personally, "get it," when I knew they didn't. I just don't want people replicating that because they genuinely do want to help the people in their lives.
#empathy#mental health#that's why i stopped talking to my dad for YEARS before he went on his own effort to learn about this sort of stuff#it just sucks to be treated as badly as you're feeling basically#and this doesn't even get into the idea that empathy isn't a requirement in human interaction for every little thing#empathy is as much a tool as any other experience can be - and like any tool you can use it in hurtful ways...#...even if you didn't mean to use that tool in that way#a friend of mine is going through Some Shit that i know from personal experience SUCKS ASS...#...but also. they're going through it in different circumstances and at a different time than me and that means it's a DIFFERENT SITUATION.#...so yes i know the heartache and the anger and the loss of will and all of that...#...but i don't know what it's like to go through it like they are and that is FINE#it's just frusterating seeing people act like empathy is going to fix the other person without any work being put into it#it's the fantasy of doing a lot with such little effort
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man what the fuck i spent fifteen years of my life in school and i somehow came out not knowing how to handle my emotions OR balance a chequebook
#i am! overwhelmed with gratitude over a ton of things this week!!!#and it's as distressing to be overwhelmed with gratitude as it is to be with the more negative emotions like anger or sadness apparently!!!#like i don't know how to handle being happy as much as i didn't know how to handle being sad#and one would think i'd have some financial skills or some basic street smarts to show for it But NO!!!! NOT EVEN THAT!!!#why do we even go to school what's the fucking point#other than the stress dreams i still have and the way i'm having to relearn doing things for the sake of doing them instead of for marks#what did i ever gain from school#like the last time i learnt anything i care about in school i think i was ten? everything after that has been just.#i don't like to use that word lightly but it feels like everything after that age has been just trauma piling#the schooling system as it stands is so fucking pointless and it's even more prominent after leaving school than it was during it
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Sometimes I am reminded that For Honor can be both the most fun shit in the world and also the most viscerally unfun thing to ever exist in the universe and it depends entirely on who you're fighting and how many of them there are
#Idk what they did to make my favourite event exhausting to play but I'm just grappling with that still#Every time Test your Metal has been around I've been SO excited#like it is without question my favourite event mode#but idk they brought it back again and it just feels so much worse to play now#and I really honestly genuinely have no idea why#because on paper it's basically no different than it used to be#so like#why is it just not fun to me anymore#am I just worse now? did my extended hiatuses from this game make me just bad? Like is it a skill issue?#Is my deep anger and disappointment at the devs' attempts to bleed every cent from people possible just venting through a different outlet?#Is this because of the balance changes they've made to every character in-between now and the last time this event happened#gradually homogenizing the cast into the same orange-or-blue 50/50 guessing game?#Am I realizing that idk if I even actually like playing For Honor most of the time anymore#and just keep playing it because I'm desperately hoping a better game comes along that plays similar#and am just imagining this theoretical other game whenever I play it thinking about the potential it had#that was wholly squandered by making it an always-online live service game that egregiously haggled you for cash at every turn?#I genuinely don't know#all I know is that I'm tired man#I'm just deeply painfully tired#and only partly because it is 6:30am and I haven't slept yet#lmao#Pun's text Posts#for honor
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